Csaba - 12th Step

(Excerpt) - 12.0.

I'd like to share with you how I practice the 12th step. The Step Book states on page 108:

"The subject of the twelfth step is joy in life, and its key is action. Here, we turn towards our suffering alcoholic brothers and sisters. Here, we experience what it means to give without expecting anything in return. Here, we begin to practice the Twelve Steps in our daily lives so that we and those around us may attain balanced sobriety.

Considering the full scope of the Twelfth Step, we become aware that it is truly about love without a price tag. The Twelfth Step also states that as a result of practicing all previous Steps, we experience something we call a spiritual awakening."

So, what have I experienced?

12. AS A RESULT OF THE STEPS, I HAVE EXPERIENCED A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, AND I TRY TO CARRY THIS MESSAGE TO OTHER ALCOHOLICS AND APPLY THESE PRINCIPLES IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE.

As part of this:

1. I have experienced spiritual awakening and its phases.
2. I realized there is something lovable in everyone.
3. I understood serenity and found peace.
4. I developed my own spiritual principles through the Steps.
5. I try to apply these continually in everyday situations.
6. I developed a personal concept of God.
7. I strive to carry the message to suffering alcoholics.

In the remainder of this month, I'll go into these points in detail.

---

Guide:

As an introduction to step work

- Study the 12th step in our 12/12 book!
- Attend meetings focused on the 12th step!
- Discuss the 12th step with your sponsor!

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Csaba - 12th Step

(Excerpt) - 12.1.

12.1, I EXPERIENCED SPIRITUAL AWAKENING AND ITS PHASES.

What is a spiritual awakening? The Step Book describes it on page 108 as follows:

"There are probably as many definitions of spiritual awakening as there are people who experience it. Yet, all true spiritual awakenings have common features that are not too hard to recognize. When someone experiences a spiritual awakening, it enables them to act, feel, and believe in ways they couldn’t before, relying only on their own strength.

They receive a gift that brings a new state of consciousness and being. They feel as if they have embarked on a new path that does not lead to a dead end. They feel they no longer have to struggle painfully through life. They have literally undergone a transformation, as they have tapped into a resource they previously deprived themselves of. They feel they have reached a level of integrity, patience, selflessness, and love they once thought impossible. They have received a gift they prepared themselves to receive, albeit only in part, by practicing the steps."

For me, spiritual awakening was a continuous experience as I progressed through each step. I experienced various insights, realizations, and “aha” moments as I moved along the path of spiritual growth. In retrospect, I can distinguish seven stages, though the boundaries are not sharply defined:

1. In the First Step, when I accepted that I was an alcoholic, I felt grace. I was saved from eternal suffering. From my spiritual readings, I found thoughts that resonated, as they well described my state of acceptance toward myself and the world. I repeated phrases like:

   - "Acceptance of the unacceptable is the greatest source of grace."
   - "Receive what comes! Let go of what goes! That’s all."

2. The Second Step reinforced in me that I need not judge others, and that my small life is not the center of the world. There's more at play here. What I feel, think, or want is not the focus. Higher Powers exist, and they can help me grow.

From my readings, I liked these uplifting thoughts:

   - "There is no 'I,' there is no problem."
   - "I am not my body."
   - "I am not my thoughts."

3. Practicing the Third Step (entrusting my life to God), I realized it's best if His will prevails, and I began to express gratitude for everything, even for things others take for granted. I learned that gratitude is the best cure for depression.

My favorite phrases at this time were:

   - "Gloria in Excelsis Deo!"
   - "Glory to God in the Highest!"
   - "Soli Deo Gloria!"
   - "To God alone be the glory!"

4. In the Fourth and Fifth Steps, I managed to forgive everyone. I realized the insignificance of the past. I also realized that everyone is lovable because, in some way, I can see myself in everyone. Around this time, I would often say:

   - "I am ONE with everything and everyone."
   - "Recognition of Oneness is love."
   - "Love wants nothing and fears nothing."

5. In the Sixth and Seventh Steps, I realized that my mind, and the deeply rooted thoughts in it, had hindered my experience of earthly happiness. My ego (self-centered thinking) had caused me the most suffering. This realization led to an understanding and experience of serenity and joy in life. My state of mind was best characterized by these phrases:

   - "Situations don’t make you unhappy. Thoughts do."
   - "I needed suffering until I realized it was unnecessary."

6. With the Eighth and Ninth Steps, I made peace with the world. I realized that nothing, besides myself, can threaten my inner peace. Since then, I have lived in peace with myself and others. I also realized that this is the greatest gift I have ever received. But that’s not all! I also realized that:

   - "My inner peace is the most valuable gift I can offer to the world!"

7. Practicing the Tenth and Eleventh Steps, I realized I don’t need to follow the path my conditioned ego dictated. I can walk my path, helping others along theirs. My favorite affirmations:

   - "I don’t have to do anything."
   - "I don’t have to be anything."

My self-image solidified. Today, I know the answers to fundamental questions:

   - Who am I? - "I am God's consecrated Son!"
   - What am I? - "I am the way, the truth, and the life!"

---

Guide to 12.1 Step Segment:

12.1, I experience spiritual awakening and its phases.

Write down (or think about) what the following concepts mean to you:

- Spiritual
- Awakening / Realization
- Enlightenment
- Self

Write down (or reflect on):

- What makes our lives spiritual?
- What is spiritual growth?
- What does spiritual awakening mean?

Have you ever felt such things? If so, write down your experience:

- There is hope!
- I received grace!
- I no longer need suffering!
- There is God!
- I am not afraid!
- I love!
- PEACE!

---

Csaba - 12th Step

(Excerpt) - 12.2.

12.2, I REALIZED THERE IS SOMETHING LOVABLE IN EVERYONE.

I first came to realize that love is not:

- an emotion;
- a need;
- a tool;

Instead, it is:

- an attitude;
- a mindset;
- a choice in behavior.

As I went through the steps, my mindset transformed, along with my thoughts, feelings, actions, and entire behavior:

- Today, I accept people as they are.
- I try not to judge and strive to be understanding with everyone.
- I can give without the hope of anything in return.
- I can forgive anyone for any mistake.
- I know that there is no such thing as sin.

The more spiritual literature I read (including AA literature, of course), the stronger the "Christ within me" grew, saying:

- Everyone is good!
- Everyone can be forgiven!
- There is something in everyone that resembles me!
- I resemble everyone a little!
- There is something lovable in everyone!

I practice this in meetings. While someone shares, I think about what I love in them or could love in them. It’s impossible not to find something we have in common, some point of connection!

Or where I resemble them. I read somewhere: "The recognition of unity is LOVE."

It’s good to know that I am ONE with everything and everyone. To want nothing from anyone, only to give! To fear no one, only to love! Love and fear cannot coexist. If I can love someone unconditionally, I don’t fear them.

I reinforced this approach in myself with much practice. In the 11th step, I mentioned that – usually before bed – I do a "love meditation." I sit down, relax, close my eyes, and visualize someone to whom I want to send loving energy. Then I imagine smiling at them, and they smile back. I wave at them, and they kindly wave back. I jump for joy at seeing them, and they jump with joy too. I go to them, and we shake hands.

We laugh. We hug. We both smile from ear to ear. We love each other. I do this with 8-10 more people. I make sure they’re not only my closest loved ones but also people I don’t like as much (an annoying acquaintance) or with whom I have a neutral relationship (like my boss).

I wish you good practice!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Guide for Step 12.2:

12.2, I realize that there is something to love in everyone.

Write down (or reflect on) the following:

• What is love? What is not love?
• Do you accept everyone as they are?
• Can you be non-judgmental in all situations?
• Do you ever give without expecting anything in return?
• Can you forgive anyone for any mistake?
• Do you still believe in the existence of sin?

What do you think of these thoughts:

• Everyone can be forgiven!
• Everyone is good!
• There is something lovable in everyone!

Csaba - Step 12

(Excerpt) - 12.3

12.3, I UNDERSTOOD SERENITY AND EXPERIENCED PEACE.

The feeling of serenity (referred to as "serenity" in the Big Book) and peace gradually developed in me through the steps. In the Third Step, I began practicing the Serenity Prayer, and slowly realized:

- I can’t change the world. And that’s okay.
- I can’t change others. And that’s okay.
- What I can change is my own mindset. This is all I need. This is wisdom.

In doing the Sixth and Seventh Steps, I began uprooting deeply rooted misconceptions in my mind that had hindered my experience of earthly happiness. I began to recognize and release self-centered thinking:

- ego-driven manifestations;
- self-centered demands;
- mistaken identifications.

These insights and practices led to a complete change in my self-awareness (self-image), understanding, and embracing of serenity and calm joy in life.

By completing the Eighth and Ninth Steps, I made peace with the world, realizing:

- Forgiveness dispels resentment.
- Letting go of expectations wards off disappointment.
- Mistakes can always be corrected.
- Sin does not exist.
- Making amends makes the world right.

I realized that after this, my inner peace is untouchable by anything outside of me. Since then, I live in peace with myself and others. I am grateful to God for this gift.

My inner peace is the most valuable thing I can give the world!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Guide for Step 12.3:

12.3, I understand serenity and find peace.

Write down (or reflect on) what the following concepts mean to you:

• Serenity
• Peace
• Wisdom

Write down (or reflect on) the following:

• What insights might the Serenity Prayer bring us?
• Can recognizing and releasing the ego lead to inner peace?
• How do making amends contribute to inner peace?

Write down any experiences that support the idea that:

• Nothing outside yourself can endanger your inner peace.
• Your inner peace is a great gift to the world.

Csaba - Step 12

(Excerpt) - 12.4

12.4, MY OWN SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES DEVELOPED THROUGH THE STEPS.

My own spiritual principles gradually formed through the steps. I summarized them here as I practiced my Twelfth Step:

1. ACCEPTANCE

When I accepted in the First Step that I am an alcoholic, I felt I was given grace. I was saved from eternal suffering. Since then, I strive to accept things and people as they are. Every moment, I try to accept the present moment.

- AA slogan: "Just for today!"
- My own slogan: "Right here, right now is good!"

2. UNDERSTANDING

The Second Step strengthened in me the thought that I don’t need to judge others or label them; instead, I should seek understanding. I don’t need to think I’m right, nor control others. Higher Powers are in charge.

- AA slogan: "Live and let live!"
- My own slogan: "They are good!"

3. SELFLESSNESS

In reality, the first thing I woke up to was that love is:

- not an emotion;
- not a need;
- not a tool;

But rather:

- an attitude;
- a mindset;
- a behavior we can choose.

As I worked through the steps, my thinking transformed completely, along with my thoughts, feelings, actions, and overall behavior:

- Today, I accept people as they are.
- I try not to judge and strive to understand everyone.
- I can give without expecting anything in return.
- I can forgive anyone for any mistake.
- I know that sin does not exist.

The more spiritual literature I read (including AA literature), the stronger “the Christ within me” became, saying:

- Everyone is good!
- Everyone can be forgiven!
- There’s something in everyone that resembles me!
- I resemble everyone a little!
- There’s something lovable in everyone!

I practice this in meetings. While someone shares, I think about what I like in them or what I could like. There’s no way I can’t find some common ground that connects us.

Or something in which we are alike.

Somewhere, I read: “Recognizing unity is LOVE.”

It’s a good feeling to know that I am ONE with everything and everyone. I don't want anything from anyone. Just to give! Not to fear anyone. Just to love! Love and fear exclude each other. If I can love someone unconditionally, I do not fear them.

I strengthened this attitude in myself through practice. In the 11th step, I mentioned that I do a “love meditation” before going to bed. I sit down, relax, close my eyes, and imagine someone to whom I want to send loving energy. I then visualize smiling at them, and they smile back. I wave at them, and they kindly wave back. I jump with joy at seeing them, and they do the same. I go over, and we shake hands.

We laugh. We hug. We both smile from ear to ear. We love each other. I repeat this with 8-10 people, ensuring they’re not just close loved ones but also people I don’t particularly like (an annoying acquaintance) or with whom I have a neutral relationship (e.g., my boss).

I wish you good practice!

---

Guide for Step 12.2:

12.2, I realize that there is something to love in everyone.

Reflect (write down your thoughts) on:

- What is love? What is not love?
- Do you accept everyone as they are?
- Can you be non-judgmental under all circumstances?
- Do you give without expecting anything in return?
- Can you forgive anyone for any mistake?
- Do you still believe in the existence of sin?

What do you think about the following ideas?

- Everyone can be forgiven!
- Everyone is good!
- There is something to love in everyone!

---

Csaba – Step 12

(Excerpt) - 12.3

12.3, I UNDERSTOOD WHAT SERENITY IS AND FOUND PEACE.

The feelings of serenity and peace gradually developed in me through the steps.
In Step Three, I began practicing the Serenity Prayer and slowly realized that:

- I cannot change the world. Nor do I need to.
- I cannot change others. Nor do I need to.
- What I can change is my own way of thinking. That’s all I need. This is wisdom itself.

Through Steps Six and Seven, I began to root out deeply held misconceptions in my mind that had previously hindered me from experiencing earthly happiness. I started recognizing and letting go of selfish thoughts:

- ego-driven impulses;
- self-centered needs;
- false identifications.

These realizations and practices led to a complete transformation in my self-image, to an understanding and acquisition of the concepts of serenity and quiet joy in life.

Through Steps Eight and Nine, I made peace with the world, realizing that:

- Forgiveness dispels resentment.
- Letting go of expectations keeps disappointment at bay.
- Mistakes can always be corrected.
- Sin does not exist.
- Making amends makes the world better.

I realized that nothing, other than myself, can threaten my peace of mind. Since then, I live in peace with myself and others. I am grateful to God for this gift.

My inner peace is the most valuable thing I can give to the world!

---

Guide for Step 12.3:

12.3, I understand what serenity is and know peace.

Reflect (write down your thoughts) on what the following concepts mean to you:

- Serenity
- Peace
- Wisdom

Reflect (write down your thoughts) on:

- What realizations can the Serenity Prayer lead us to?
- Can recognizing and letting go of the ego lead to inner peace?
- How do making amends contribute to inner peace?

Write down any experiences that support the idea that:

- Nothing can threaten your inner peace except yourself.
- Your inner peace is a great gift to the whole world.

---

Csaba – Step 12

(Excerpt) - 12.4

12.4, MY OWN SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES HAVE EMERGED AS A RESULT OF THE STEPS.

My personal spiritual principles gradually developed as a result of working through the steps. I summarized them here, as part of practicing my 12th step:

1. ACCEPTANCE

When I accepted in Step One that I am an alcoholic, I felt that I had received grace. I was saved from eternal suffering. Since then, I strive to accept things and people as they are. In every moment, I try to accept the present moment.

- AA slogan: "Just for today!"
- My slogan: "It's good to be here now!"

2. UNDERSTANDING

Through Step Two, I strengthened the idea that I do not need to judge others, nor label them; instead, I should seek to understand. I don't have to believe that I am right, nor do I need to control others. Higher Powers guide us.

- AA slogan: "Live and let live!"
- My slogan: "He is good!"

3. SELFLESSNESS

Through Step Three, I realized that it’s best if God’s will prevails, and I began to give thanks for everything. I started giving without ulterior motives. Giving freely what I received freely.

- AA slogan: "I am a grateful alcoholic."
- My slogan: "Giving is good!"

4. LOVE

Through Steps Four and Five, I managed to forgive everyone. I realized the insignificance of the past and that everyone is lovable because we are one.

- AA slogan: "There is something to love in everyone!"
- My slogan: "Everyone is good!"

5. JOY / SERENITY

Through Steps Six and Seven, I realized that my ego caused most of my suffering. My mind, and the deeply rooted misconceptions within it, hindered me from experiencing serenity and joy. I started to recognize and release unnecessary things.

- AA slogan: "Let go and let God!"
- My slogan: "Life is good!"

6. PEACE

Through Steps Eight and Nine, I made peace with the world. I realized that nothing, except myself, can endanger my peace of mind. Since then, I live in peace with myself and others.

- AA slogan: "We understand what serenity is and know peace."
- My slogan: "I am good!"

7. MY OWN PATH

Through practicing Steps Ten and Eleven, I realized that I don't have to follow the “old programs” and can walk my own path, helping others on theirs.

- AA slogan: "Be true to yourself!"
- My slogan: "I'm on the right path!"

---

Guide for Step 12.4:

12.4, My spiritual principles have developed as a result of the steps.

Reflect (write down your thoughts) on what the following concepts mean to you:

- Willingness
- Acceptance
- Understanding
- Selflessness
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Independence

Reflect (write down your thoughts) on:

- Do you already accept the present moment as it is? ("Just for today!")
- Have you already let go of the desire to control others? ("Live and let live!")
- Can you give thanks for anything you receive? ("I am a grateful alcoholic!")
- Can you give without ulterior motives? ("Freely you have received; freely give.")
- Do you begin to feel unity with everything? ("We love you!")
- How are you recognizing and releasing ego-driven misconceptions? ("Let go and let God.")
- Can you already live in peace with yourself and others? ("We know peace!")
- Is your self-image starting to form? ("Be true to yourself!")

Try to formulate your own spiritual principles!

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Csaba – Step 12

(Excerpt) - 12.5

12.5, I STRIVE TO APPLY MY PRINCIPLES IN EVERYDAY SITUATIONS CONTINUOUSLY.

In the previous step segment, I summarized my spiritual principles, which I apply and practice as follows:

1. ACCEPTANCE (Just for today!)

I strive to live in the present. I don’t dwell on the past or seek the future.
I practice the following affirmations:

- I accept the “suchness” of the present moment.
- One thing is sure: it is always now.
- Accept what comes. Let go of what leaves.
- It’s good to be here now.

2. UNDERSTANDING (Live and let live!)

I do not condemn myself or others for mistakes. I don’t call anything sinful if someone makes a mistake. I don’t dramatize.

I practice the following affirmations:

- I don’t need to be right.
- No Self, no problem.
- I have no conflicts with anyone.
- I do not judge, nor label.
- He is good!

3. SELFLESSNESS (I am a grateful alcoholic!)

I give thanks for

 being connected to AA. I am grateful for things others take for granted. I try to give as much as I can to others without ulterior motives.

I practice the following affirmations:

- Glory to God in the highest! Gloria in Excelsis Deo!
- To God alone be the glory! Soli Deo Gloria!
- By giving to others, we receive.
- Giving is good!

4. LOVE (There is something to love in everyone!)

I love unconditionally. I recognize the insignificance of the past. I forgive everyone.

I practice the following affirmations:

- I forgive them, for they know not what they do.
- I am ONE with everything and everyone.
- Recognizing unity is love.
- Love desires nothing and fears nothing.
- Everyone is good!

5. SERENITY (Let go – Let God!)

Recognizing and Letting Go of My Egoistic Manifestations. I Radiate Joy and Happiness to Everyone.

I practice the following affirming statements:

- Situations do not make me unhappy, only my thoughts do.
- I needed suffering until I realized it was unnecessary.
- Life is good!

---

6. PEACE (We Understand What Serenity Is, and We Know Peace!)

I live in peace with myself and others. I strive not to disturb others' inner peace.

I practice the following affirming statements:

- My inner peace is the most valuable gift I can give to the world.
- I am not my body, thoughts, or emotions.
- I am not the thinker; I am the one who exists.
- I am good!
- I am.

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7. PATH, LIFE (Be True to Yourself!)

I walk my own path and help others on theirs. I recognize the voice of the ego, and I also hear the voice of God. I choose the latter.

I practice the following affirming statements:

- I do not have to follow the path marked by my conditioned ego.
- I don't need to do anything.
- I don't need to be anything.
- I am God's holy child.
- I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life!
- I am on the right path!

---

Guide for Step 12.5:

12.5, I try to apply my principles continuously in everyday situations.

Outline your spiritual principles and pair them with affirming statements, for example:

1. Acceptance:

   - Just for today!
   - I accept the world created by God as it is.
   - What comes, I accept. What goes, I let go.

2. Understanding:

   - Live and let live!
   - I do not judge, criticize, or label.
   - etc.

Write these down everywhere and practice them continuously!

---

Csaba - Step 12

(Excerpt) - 12.6

12.6, I Have Formed My Own Concept of God.

In Step Three, I wrote that I became willing to trust my life’s course to God (as I understand Him). After deciding that "from now on, God will be the director in the play of my life, He is the boss, I am the subordinate," I began to think about what my "own" concept of God is.

What qualities might make it worthwhile to trust my life to His care? In addition to AA literature, I read many other spiritual texts and concluded the following:

My God:

1. Is always present.
2. Does not judge.
3. Provides everything.
4. Loves and forgives.
5. Radiates joy.
6. Offers peace.
7. Shows the way.

This concept of God began to take shape in me during Step Three. Later steps reinforced it. This concept of God formed the basis for the spiritual principles I continue to try to apply in all aspects of my life. I realized that God expects nothing more from me than that I behave as He does:

1. God is always present, always with me, so I try to live in the present to be with Him.
2. God does not judge me or others, so I do not judge my own or others’ faults.
3. God gives me everything I need, so I try to give as much as possible to others.
4. God loves everyone and forgives me and others, so I also love and forgive unconditionally.
5. God radiates joy and happiness to me and others, so I also radiate joy and happiness to everyone.
6. God offers peace to me and others, so I live in peace with myself and others.
7. God shows the way to me and others, so I walk my own path and help others on theirs.

---

Guide for Step 12.6:

12.6, I form my concept of God according to my own understanding.

Write down (or think about):

- What does your concept of God look like?
- What does He mean to you? What does He give you?
- How do your spiritual principles connect to your concept of God?

Write down any experiences that support the idea that:

- Our concept of God significantly influences our spiritual well-being.
- A personal concept of God can be more helpful than adopting a religious image.

---

Csaba - Step 12

(Excerpt) - 12.7

12.7, I TRY TO CARRY THE MESSAGE TO ALCOHOLICS WHO STILL SUFFER.

Finally, I summarize how, since I began the path to sobriety (August 18, 2008), I have tried to carry the message to alcoholics who still suffer:

1. Personal Sharing

At AA meetings, gatherings, and message sessions in institutions, I often volunteer to speak. I share my experiences, feelings, thoughts, and attitudes. I do not hide my past as an active alcoholic from friends. To anyone interested, I willingly talk about AA, our program, and the steps.

2. Electronic Sharing

Using the internet, I post my shares on community forums, mainly in the Facebook groups "12 Steps" and "Just For Today." These shares used to connect with Daily Reflections; this year, they specifically connect to the 12 steps. I often comment on others' posts and respond to private (Messenger) messages.

3. Service

For four years, I was a meeting leader in Budapest at various locations. I organized and led slogan meetings and step meetings. I frequently provided introductions at other meetings and regional gatherings. Currently, I create Step Guides in the Facebook 12 Steps group for those who want to work on the steps seriously. I continue to provide introductions at online meetings.

4. Sponsorship

I have a few peers, mainly in Hungary, who often ask me for advice regarding the steps. I currently live in England and maintain contact with my sponsees electronically. We also work on the steps via Google Drive and other cloud platforms.

For me, the foundational principles of conveying the message are as follows:

A. CONTENT Principle:

I don't usually talk much about how I drank. Of course, it’s not a secret, but following the suggestions of our predecessors, I prefer to discuss:

1. How I came to AA.
2. How I maintain my sobriety; how I work on the steps.

B. FORM Principle:

The Big Book states at the bottom of page 88: "Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop. Simply lay out the tools of spiritual experience, and let him examine them. Show him how they worked for you."

This is what I strive for.

---

Guide for Step 12.7:

12.7, I try to carry the message to alcoholics who still suffer.

Write down (or think about) how you use the following forms of message delivery:

- Personal sharing
- Electronic sharing
- Service
- Sponsorship
- Other forms?

How do you try to apply your spiritual principles in your message deliveries?