NA - Step 12 - Chapter 12.1

Twelfth Step:

"As a result of these steps, we experienced a spiritual awakening, tried to carry this message to other addicts, and practiced these principles in all our affairs."

12.1. SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

By reaching this point, we have experienced a spiritual awakening. Although the nature of our awakening is as unique and personal as the spiritual path we walk, our experiences are strikingly similar. Almost without exception, our members report feeling free, becoming increasingly joyful over time, caring more about others, and consistently enhancing their capacity to live a full life beyond themselves. For others, this transformation seems astonishing. Those who knew us as active addicts—often seen as withdrawn and angry—say we’ve become different people. Many of us indeed feel as if we've started living a second life. We understand the importance of remembering where we came from, so we make efforts not to forget, but the longer we are clean, the more our old lives and the motivations we once had seem strange.

The change within us did not happen overnight. It evolved slowly and gradually as we worked through the steps. We gradually awakened spiritually. Living by spiritual principles became more natural, while acting under the influence of our character defects felt increasingly uncomfortable. While some of us have had a powerful, profound experience, we built our relationship with a Higher Power steadily and conscientiously. This Power, whether from within our noblest, highest selves or external to us, has become ours, accessible anytime we wish. It guides our actions and motivates our continuous growth.

What overall experience have I gained as a result of working the steps?
How would I describe my spiritual awakening?
What long-lasting change has occurred as a result of my spiritual awakening?

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NA - Step 12 - Chapter 12.2

12.2. SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES

Each time we work through the Twelve Steps, we gain a different experience. There will be subtle differences in the meaning of each spiritual principle, and as our understanding grows, we develop in new ways and areas. Our ways of being honest, for example, expand as we understand what honesty means. We learn that we must practice honesty with ourselves to be honest with others. Honesty can be an expression of our personal integrity. As spiritual principles become clearer to us, our spiritual awakening deepens.

Which spiritual principle is connected to each step, and how have they contributed to my spiritual awakening?
What does the phrase “spiritual awakening” mean to me?

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NA - Step 12 - Chapter 12.3

12.3. CARRYING THE MESSAGE

Many of us remember hearing these words for the first time: "You never have to use again if you don’t want to." For most of us, this message was shocking, perhaps because we never thought of "having to use" before, and it surprised us how much truth lay in this statement. We thought, "Sure, using has long since stopped being a choice for us." The point was that we heard this message, regardless of whether we stayed clean afterward. Someone conveyed it to us.

Some of us believed we could stay clean in NA, but recovery seemed beyond our reach. Regaining self-esteem, forming friendships, and walking into the “real world” without it being obvious that we were addicts—all seemed like more than we could expect from NA.

On the day we began to believe that this program offered us more than just help to stay clean, a new voice appeared, a turning point in our recovery. We felt a sense of hope as if someone had validated our faith. Perhaps someone in a meeting shared their feelings, with whom we could relate very personally. Maybe we heard the same message from several addicts—that recovery is possible—and it impacted us greatly. Perhaps our sponsor’s unconditional love and gentle persistence that we indeed can recover was the key. However it happened, this was the message, and someone delivered it to us.

Many of us stayed clean for a long time, finding joy in recovery. Then something tragic happened—a long-term committed relationship ended, or a loved one passed away. A friend in NA relapsed, perhaps died, or we found our lives unbearable. We may have simply realized that other NA members were not perfect and could hurt us. Whatever the crisis, we realized we had lost faith. We no longer believed that NA provided a solution for us. We had made a deal, thinking that if we followed it and always acted right, we would stay clean and live happily.

That deal broke, leaving us to ponder the purpose of our lives repeatedly. Then, we started to believe again. Perhaps someone who had gone through similar challenges reached out to us and helped in a way no one else could. Someone delivered the message to us again.

In what different ways have I experienced receiving the message?

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NA - Step 12 - Chapter 12.3.1

12.3.1. THE MESSAGE

The message can be described simply. Its essence is that we can stay clean, recover, and that there is hope. By recalling the times we heard the message through personal encounters, we partially answer why we now need to pass it on ourselves, but we have other reasons as well.

"We can only keep what we have by giving it away." This saying perhaps expresses the most significant reason for passing on the message. Many of us wonder exactly how this concept works. It’s actually very simple. We reinforce our recovery by sharing it with others. When we tell someone that those who attend meetings regularly usually manage to stay clean, we are likely applying this practice in our own recovery as well. When we tell someone the answer lies in the steps, we are likely seeking it there too. When we advise a newcomer to find a sponsor and use them, it’s likely we stay connected to our own sponsor.

There are as many ways to pass on the message as there are addicts in recovery. Greeting a newcomer we met at last night’s meeting by name holds great significance and is incredibly heartwarming for an addict who feels very alone. Opening a new meeting is compelling evidence that there is a place for the message to be carried. Taking on any service position helps NA continue, and by providing community service in a careful, loving, and humble way, we can do a great deal of good. Sponsoring other addicts brings the healing effect of the help one addict can give another to life.

What service do I undertake to pass on the message?

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NA - Step 12 - Chapter 12.3.2

12.3.2. FORMS AND CHALLENGES OF CARRYING THE MESSAGE

Sometimes conveying a message is a major challenge. The person we want to share it with may seem unable to hear it, slipping back, declining, or choosing destructive behavior instead. When we encounter someone like this, it can be easy to feel that our efforts are in vain and that it might be better just to give up. However, before making this decision, we should consider all mitigating circumstances. For instance, let’s say our sponsee doesn’t always follow our guidance. We give them written assignments, but we don’t hear from them again until they’re in another crisis.

We’ve shared our experiences with them wholeheartedly, relating to the situation they face and explaining in detail how our own addiction manifested in similar circumstances, and how we used the steps to find recovery. Yet, our sponsee repeatedly falls back into destructive behavior. This can be incredibly frustrating, but before we give up, we should remember that our choice isn’t whether to convey the message, but rather how to convey it.

We need to remove our own ego from the equation. We can't take credit or blame for someone else's recovery. We simply share the message as positively as we can and remain available in case they seek help. We should also remember that it’s impossible to know what’s happening in another person’s mind or spirit. Our message might seem to leave no impression, but it could be that they’re not ready to hear it yet. The words we say may remain with them for a long time, reemerging at just the right moment.

If we think about it, we all remember things we heard from NA members when we were newcomers, which only surfaced years later, giving us hope or a solution to a present problem. We convey the message freely, but we can never force another person to hear it. The principle of attraction, rather than promotion, that we apply to public relations also applies well to our personal efforts in conveying the message.

Sometimes we might not be the best person to sponsor someone. Everyone has different needs and learns in different ways. Some benefit from one sponsor, while others feel more comfortable with a different style. Some sponsors assign a lot of written work; some specify the number of meetings their sponsee should attend. Some are proactive, while others respond directly to the sponsee’s expressed needs. No one approach is better or worse—they’re just different.

It can be especially hard to convey the message when we don’t feel positive about life or recovery. Our first thought might be to go to a meeting and unload all our problems, cleaning out our own inner turmoil. However, NA meetings are meant to provide a space for sharing the message. Unloading our issues without connecting them to recovery or making the message clear doesn’t support our primary group purpose. We can still convey the message by showing that we face tough problems yet don’t use, attend meetings, and work on our recovery.

In most cases, though, the best way to convey the message is by focusing on newcomers in the room and telling them why recovery in Narcotics Anonymous is worthwhile. It’s good to remember that sometimes, regardless of how long we've been clean, we also need to hear the message. By sitting quietly in meetings and listening, we increase our chances of receiving it.

What are the different ways to convey the message? How do I personally take part in them?
What is my personal sponsorship style?
What’s the difference between attraction and promotion?
What does conveying the message mean to me?
How are the Fifth Tradition and the Twelfth Step connected?
What keeps bringing me back, and why do I trust the NA program?
What does selfless service mean, and how do I practice it?

NA - Twelfth Step - Chapter 12.3.3

For Addicts

Why does the Twelfth Step say to carry the message to addicts? Why did NA work for us when nothing else did? Most of us had someone—a teacher, counselor, family member, police officer—who told us drugs would kill us and destroy everything we cared about. If we’d just stop using or limit our access to drugs, we could change our lives. Most of us probably even agreed to a certain extent unless we were in complete denial. So why did we only find solace when we came to Narcotics Anonymous? What did other NA members have that made us believe recovery was possible?

In a word: authenticity. We knew the others were just like us; they’d stopped using and found a new way to live. They didn’t care what we did or didn’t have. They even told us through the readings at the start of the meeting that it didn’t matter what or how much we used. Most of us were incredibly grateful to find that we met the requirements. We knew we’d suffered enough, but we wanted acceptance. And we were accepted. The addicts there and available to us when we started attending meetings made us feel welcome.

They offered us their phone numbers and assured us we could call anytime. But what we found most valuable was identification. The members who’d used as we had shared their experiences of getting clean. They knew firsthand how lonely and isolated we felt and seemed to understand that what we really needed was a simple, loving hug. It felt like the entire group knew exactly what we needed without us even asking.
We often say to each other how lucky we are to have this program; it offers us a way to cope with life and its conditions.

When we’ve been clean for a while, we realize that the principles of Narcotics Anonymous are universal. If everyone applied them, the world might be a different place. We might even wonder why we don’t open NA to everyone with other problems. But as our predecessors taught us, the greatest help comes when a single clear purpose exists. If NA tried to do everything, an addict seeking help on how to stop using might not find anyone who knew how.

Why was an NA member able to reach me in a way no one else could? Write about your experience!

What is the therapeutic value of one addict helping another?
Why is identification so important?

We can’t reach everyone, nor should we try. But that doesn’t mean we can’t share our recovery with others. In fact, we won’t be able to help doing so. When we live the program, it shows in every aspect of our lives.

NA - Twelfth Step - Chapter 12.4

Practicing These Principles in All Our Affairs

When we talk about practicing the principles of recovery in all our affairs, the key word is "practice." It means we must continually try to apply spiritual principles, not that we must handle every situation perfectly. The spiritual benefit from working the steps is based on our efforts, not on our success rate.

For example, we can try practicing the principle of compassion in all areas of our lives. It’s probably easy to be compassionate toward an addict who’s currently using and walking into their first NA meeting, whether they’re hostile or in need of help. But what about someone who returns after a relapse, perhaps multiple relapses? How do we feel when they walk in, blaming NA for their relapse, acting as though recovery is completely natural? What if that person was our sponsee? We may find that applying compassion isn’t as easy as we’re used to. We might not feel empathy for this person, but we can still practice the principle of compassion.

We just need to continue to convey the message without conditions. Our sponsor can help us learn to be compassionate without seeming to condone relapse. We can pray and meditate, asking our Higher Power to help us be compassionate.
This step calls on us to practice principles in all our affairs. Many of us would prefer to leave this requirement out of work settings, personal relationships, or other areas, as we’re unsure if we’ll get what we want by applying spiritual principles.

For example, compromising on principles at work might lead to apparent success or extra money. We might be asked to meet a production deadline that benefits the company but results in a poor-quality product that endangers the people who purchase it. What should we do? Practice the spiritual principles of recovery. We likely have various options to take action that honors our principles. The essential requirement is that we act according to our principles.

What about NA service work? Strangely, some of us view our NA service as an opportunity to disregard principles. We forget to trust those who have doubts about a specific service project. We openly accuse others of scheming and say hurtful things, neglecting kindness. We create impossible procedures for those we choose to carry out tasks because we don’t practice trust.

We become self-satisfied, hostile, and sarcastic. It’s ironic that we seem most inclined to attack those to whom we entrust our lives in recovery meetings. We need to remember that spiritual principles should be practiced in all meetings, whether service-oriented or recovery-focused. Service provides many opportunities to practice spiritual principles.

It’s difficult to determine which spiritual principle to practice in a given situation, but it’s usually the opposite of the defect we’d normally act on. For example, if we feel the need to control a situation completely, we can practice trust. If we’d typically act self-assured, we can practice humility. If our first impulse is to withdraw and isolate, we can instead reach out to others.

The work we did in the Seventh Step to identify opposites to our defects and the work at the start of this step to align with the spiritual principles of the previous steps provide further insight into the principles we should practice. Though most of us end up with a similar list of spiritual principles, the attention we give to specific principles reflects our unique, individual needs.

How can I practice the principles in different areas of my life?
When do I find it hard to practice the principles?
Which spiritual principles do I find particularly challenging to apply in practice?

NA - Twelfth Step - Chapter 12.5.1

12.5. Spiritual Principles

Even within the step that asks us to practice spiritual principles, there are key principles specific to this step. Let’s now focus on unconditional love, selflessness, and perseverance.

12.5.1. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Practicing the principle of unconditional love according to the Twelfth Step is essential. No one needs unconditional love more than a suffering addict. We don’t ask for anything from the people to whom we try to pass on the message. We don’t ask for money. We don’t ask for gratitude. We don’t even ask them to stay clean. We simply give of ourselves.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take reasonable precautions. If we feel it’s unsafe to bring a suffering addict into our home, we don’t have to do it. We should always go on Twelfth Step calls with another NA member. The principle of unconditional love doesn’t require us to put ourselves in harm’s way. Sometimes, the most loving and helpful thing we can do is to prevent someone from having an opportunity to use.

How do I practice the principle of unconditional love with the addicts I want to help?

NA - Twelfth Step - Chapter 12.5.2

12.5.2. SELFLESSNESS

Why do we carry the message? Not for our own benefit, though we certainly enjoy the rewards. We carry the message to help others break free from addiction and achieve personal growth. If we think of our sponsees as somehow belonging to us, or believe that their lives would fall apart if we didn’t manage every move they make or that they couldn’t stay clean without us, we haven’t grasped the essence of the Twelfth Step. We don’t seek recognition from our sponsees or praise for their success. We’re here to serve them, not for our own glory.

It’s a profound paradox that selfless service becomes an expression of our truest selves. Through the work of previous steps, we’ve developed a quality that allows our Higher Power to work through us, prioritizing principles over our personal recognition. We’ve discovered a self that cares more about principles than personal expression. Just as our disease often expressed itself in self-centeredness, our recovery is beautifully expressed in selfless service.

How do I approach sponsorship? Do I encourage my sponsees to make their own decisions and grow from them? Do I give advice or share my experience?
How do I approach service? Would NA survive without me?
How do I practice the principle of selflessness to serve others?

NA - Twelfth Step - Chapter 12.5.3

12.5.3. PERSEVERANCE

Practicing the principle of perseverance means continually striving to do our best. Even if we experience setbacks and fall short of our own expectations, we must recommit to our recovery. Perseverance protects us from allowing a bad morning or a rough day to lead to a pattern that could result in relapse. This commitment ensures that we keep practicing the principles of our program, regardless of how we feel. Whether we’re delighted, bored, frustrated, or overwhelmed, we need to keep working the program.

Am I committed to my recovery? What do I do to maintain it?
Do I practice spiritual principles no matter how I feel?

NA - Twelfth Step - Chapter 12.6

12.6. MOVING FORWARD

Before we get too caught up in the idea that we’ve completed the Twelve Steps, we must recognize that we’re not simply finished. Not only will we continue trying to practice the spiritual principles of all Twelve Steps, often referred to as “living the program,” but we’ll likely revisit each step repeatedly throughout our lives. Some of us may even immediately start working through the steps again, using the perspective we’ve gained so far. Others may wait a bit, or perhaps focus on particular aspects of the steps.

No matter how we approach it, the point is that whenever we feel powerless over our addiction, or when new defects surface, or we become aware of more people we’ve harmed, the steps are there to show us the way to recovery.

We have reason to feel good about the work we’ve done. For many of us, this is the first time we’ve completed a process from beginning to end. This is a truly remarkable achievement, something to be very proud of. In fact, one of the results of our work in the NA program is a significant boost in self-esteem.

We’re becoming active members of society. We do things that once seemed beyond our reach: we exchange greetings with our neighbors or a vendor at the local market, we take leadership roles in our communities, we participate in social events alongside people who don’t know we’re addicts, and we don’t feel “less than” them. In fact, we once looked down on such activities because we felt we’d never be able to fit in. Now we know we can. We’ve become approachable. We may even be asked for advice or consulted on professional matters.

When we reflect on where we came from and what recovery has brought into our lives, we’re flooded with gratitude. As it says in It Works, gratitude gives strength to all our actions. Our lives can be an expression of our gratitude: it’s all about how we live it. Each of us has something very special and unique to offer out of gratitude.

How do I express my gratitude?