Step Book

[root]

Step Book - Step 11:

"We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

(Excerpt) - I.

Prayer and meditation are the primary tools for building our relationship with God.

We in A.A. are very active and find satisfaction in confronting the realities of life—perhaps for the first time in our lives—and we earnestly try to help the alcoholic that life brings our way. Therefore, it’s no surprise that we may not initially see the importance and necessity of a serious prayer life and meditation. While we admit that they might be important in difficult situations, we tend to view them at first as a mysterious "craft" of religious figures, the fruits of which we can only enjoy indirectly.

Some newcomers, especially those who are agnostic and still see the A.A. group as the higher power, may not be convinced of this, and despite all logic and evidence, they do not share the view that prayer has power. Those of us who once thought this way understand them and sympathize. We vividly remember how deeply we resisted bowing before any God. Many of us "proved" with relentless logic that God could not possibly exist. How could we explain accidents, illness, cruelty, and injustice in the world? How could we account for all the unhappiness and misfortune that many are born into through no fault of their own? These realities indicate that there is no justice. Therefore, God cannot exist.

At times, we approached this question differently. We said, "The chicken came before the egg." Undoubtedly, the universe had some "first cause"; perhaps it was the atom, or perhaps the alternation of cold and warm. But we were sure there was no evidence for a God who had an open book on our lives and who cared for us. We liked A.A.; we readily acknowledged that it worked wonders.

Yet we were as reluctant to pray and meditate as a scientist who is unwilling to perform a certain experiment because he fears it will prove his favorite theory wrong. Of course, when we finally took the plunge and the experience was successful against our expectations, we felt—and even knew—that prayer and meditation were important. We also saw that this could happen to anyone who tries. The saying holds true: "Only those who have never seriously tried prayer deride it as useless."
*[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, pp. 98-99]*

Step Book - Step 11

(Excerpt) - III.

We want the goodness that lies dormant within us—even in those who feel the lowest—to grow and flourish. For this, it needs air and nourishment, but most importantly, sunlight, for nothing grows in darkness. Through meditation, we step into the sunlight. But how do we meditate?

Centuries of experience have amassed a wealth of knowledge regarding prayer and meditation. Libraries and churches around the world offer a rich treasury for seekers. We hope that every A.A. member whose faith emphasizes the importance of meditation will return to this practice with more diligence than ever.

But what about those of us who are not so fortunate and don’t even know where to start?

Perhaps we should begin by selecting a truly beautiful prayer. There’s no need to search long; the greats of various religions have left us a rich heritage. Let’s examine one closely that holds universal value. Humanity has considered its author a saint for centuries. True, he was not an alcoholic, but he went through a crucible of emotional experiences. When he emerged from this, he expressed in this prayer how he sees the world and what he wants to become:

"Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace:
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, harmony;
Where there is error, truth;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
not so much seek to be understood as to understand;
not so much seek to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

AMEN."

As beginners in meditation, we can read the prayer several times: slowly, pondering each word, so we penetrate deeply into every thought and expression. This will help dissolve our resistance. Meditation is not argumentation but a calm contemplation of the thoughts of someone more knowledgeable than ourselves, with the aim of becoming part of their experience and learning from it.
*[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, pp. 100-101]*

Step Book - Step 11

(Excerpt) - IV.

"(As a reminder, the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:)"

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;  
Where there is hatred, let me bring love;  
Where there is injury, pardon;  
Where there is discord, harmony;  
Where there is error, truth;  
Where there is doubt, faith;  
Where there is despair, hope;  
Where there is darkness, light;  
Where there is sadness, joy!  
Lord, grant that I may not so much seek  
To be consoled as to console;  
To be understood as to understand;  
To be loved as to love;  
For it is in giving that we receive;  
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;  
And it is in dying that we awake to eternal life.  

AMEN"


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Imagine ourselves on a sunlit beach. Let’s release all tension and breathe in deeply the atmosphere of prayer. Willingly allow ourselves to be filled with the spiritual power of the words, their beauty, and the love contained within them. Let’s gaze at the sea and ponder its secrets; let our gaze glide to the horizon so we can see wonders we have never seen before.

“Oh dear,” you might say, “what nonsense and futility!”

When such thoughts arise, we might recall—somewhat shamefully—how eagerly we used our imagination as we looked at the world through the bottom of a glass. Indeed, we found pleasure in those thoughts! Do we not still do the same thing—even soberly? Perhaps the trouble lies not in using our imagination but in our inability to put it to good use. There’s nothing wrong with creative imagination: every great achievement springs from it. After all, we cannot build a house unless we first see the plan in our mind’s eye. Contemplation is similar: it helps us see our goals with our inner vision before we embark on them.

So let’s go back to the sunlit beach, or if you prefer, to the plain or the mountains! Once we have placed ourselves in a spiritual state with such simple tools, in which our creative imagination can carry us away, we can continue: Let’s read the prayer again and try to penetrate its essence. Let’s try to envision the person from whose soul it sprang. First of all, he wanted to be a “tool.” Then he prayed for strength so that, as far as he could, he could bring love, forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, and joy into every person’s life. After this, he expresses his hopes and desires. He hopes God will help him forget himself and find these treasures. What did he mean by forgetting himself? How did he try to realize it? 

By recognizing that it is better to comfort than to be comforted; to understand than to desire understanding; to forgive than to wait for forgiveness. 

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Step Book - Step 11 (excerpt) - VI.

Now, let’s talk about prayer. Prayer is the elevation of our hearts and minds to God—in this sense, it also involves contemplation. How do we begin? How does prayer fit into contemplation? By prayer, we generally mean a request directed to God. Opening the channel of connection, we attempt to ask for what we and others need most. We believe that the whole range of our needs is expressed in the words of the Eleventh Step: “…that we may know His will for us and … carry that out.” Such a request is timely at any time of day.

In the morning, we can think about the hours ahead. We might consider our work and how many opportunities it may provide to be useful to ourselves and help others. We might also think about the problems the day may bring. It’s possible that a serious and unresolved issue from our past will haunt us. We may be tempted to pray for a precisely defined solution and to help others—of course, according to our own notions. In this case, we ask God to arrange things according to our will. Therefore, it’s important to review such requests and see their true face. Even when we ask for specific things, it’s good to modify it like this: “…if it is Your will.” We simply ask that throughout the day, God instills in us the fullest understanding of His will for today; and grants us the grace to be able to carry it out.

During the day, when we need to make a decision about a matter, we can pause and repeat the prayer: “Thy will be done, not mine.” When our emotional world is agitated, it will be easier to maintain our spiritual balance; provided we recall and recite a prayer or a phrase that caught our attention during reading or contemplation. Repeating these words over and over will help us dissolve the “blockage” caused by anger, fear, disgust, or misunderstanding, and in times of internal tension, we reach out for the most effective help possible: which is God, and not seeking our own will. If at such times we understand that “it is better to comfort than to be comforted; to understand than to seek understanding; to love than to wait for love,” then we live in the spirit of the Eleventh Step.

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Step Book - Step 11 (excerpt) - VII.

It’s understandable that we often ask: Why can’t we turn directly to God with our distressing personal problems, and why don’t we receive a certain and definite answer?

We can do that, but it’s dangerous. We have seen A.A. members who sincerely asked for God’s help: from devastating family or financial crises to minor personal failings, such as tardiness. However, often the thoughts that seem to come from God do not originate from Him. They are nothing more than well-intentioned, unconscious excuses. An A.A. member and anyone else who builds their life solely on such demanding and selfish prayers to God is a very confused individual. If someone questions or criticizes their actions, they immediately refer to prayer as their guide; whether it’s important or trivial matters. Such a person may have forgotten that their own desires and excuses distort such “guidance.” Despite their best intentions, they are inclined to impose their own will on others, believing they are following God’s direct guidance. Guided by such self-deception, they can create great confusion without intending to.

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Step Book - Step 11 (excerpt) - VIII.

There’s another temptation we might fall into. We think we know what God’s will is for others. We say things to ourselves like: “This person must be healed from this terminal illness,” or “This person should be freed from the pains of their emotional life,” and we pray for very specific things. Such prayers—though good deeds in themselves—are mostly based on the assumption that we know what God’s will is for another person. This means that our sincere prayer is coupled with arrogance and self-importance. The experience of A.A. is that at such times, it’s best to pray for God’s will for others or for ourselves—whatever that may be.

We have also experienced in A.A. that there is no doubt about the positive effect of prayer. Those who pray persistently discover a strength they would not otherwise possess. They find wisdom that surpasses their own abilities. Their inner peace becomes increasingly solid, and they stand firm even in difficult circumstances. We also realize that we feel God’s guidance to the extent that we cease to demand that He arrange things according to our own notions.

Almost every anonymous alcoholic can testify that when they tried to deepen their conscious relationship with God, their lives took an unexpected and significant turn for the better. They can also say that all grief and suffering—when they felt God’s hand weighing upon them—proved to be instructive and sparked new resources. Ultimately, they concluded that “God’s ways are past finding out.”

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Step Book - Step 11 (excerpt) - IX.


All this can serve as encouragement for those who recoil from prayer because they do not believe in it or feel isolated from God's helping hand and guidance. We all go through periods when we can only pray with the greatest effort. Sometimes we go even further: we rebel and simply refuse to pray. When this happens, we must not underestimate ourselves. We just need to start praying again as soon as we are able, knowing that it will benefit us.

Perhaps the greatest reward of prayer and meditation is the feeling that we belong somewhere, to someone. We no longer live in a hostile world. We no longer feel that we live lost, in fear, and without purpose. As soon as God's will flashes before us, even briefly, we realize that truth, love, and justice are real realities and eternally valid.

It does not even disturb us if sometimes we feel that the exact opposite surrounds us. We know that God watches over us with loving care. We know that when we turn to Him, everything will turn out well: here and in eternity.