Narcotics Anonymous

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NA - Step 6

Sixth Step  

"We were entirely ready to have God remove all these character defects."

When we embark on the Sixth Step, we are filled with the hope gained from the first five steps. If we have been thorough, we have also gained some humility. In the Sixth Step, "humility" means we can see ourselves more clearly. We have seen the exact nature of our shortcomings. We have seen how we have hurt ourselves and others by allowing our character defects to dictate our actions. We have recognized patterns in our behavior and understood why our character defects continue to influence us again and again. Now we are entirely ready to have our character defects removed.

Being entirely ready is not a momentary task. It is a long process that can take a lifetime. Immediately following our inventory, we may feel that we are completely ready to have our character defects removed. If we have been in the program for a while and know our character defects well, but some still linger, it is natural to feel a stronger inclination towards readiness. Self-awareness alone is never enough to make us ready, yet it is an important first step on the path to being ready. Thanks to our inventory, we are more aware of our character defects; and as we work on the Sixth Step, we will become even more aware. To be entirely ready means we need to reach a spiritual state where we are not only aware of our character defects; not only are we tired of them; not only do we trust that the God of our understanding will remove what needs to be removed—but all of this simultaneously.

To be entirely ready, we must confront our fears related to the Sixth Step. It is also worth examining how our character defects will be removed. According to the Sixth Step, only a Higher Power can remove them, but what does this mean in practice? What is our responsibility in the Sixth Step? It helps to explore these questions with our sponsor as we work on this step.

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NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.1.1

6.1. To be entirely ready, but for what?

If we are new to NA and this is our first experience with the Sixth Step, many of our character defects may be so obvious that we feel an immediate, intense urge to just get rid of them! Finally, for the first time, we see them in all their glory, and we want to be free of them—right away!

6.1.1. PET CHARACTER DEFECTS  

After our initial excitement, we may feel some fear or uncertainty about the change. The unknown is frightening for almost everyone. The character defects we are preparing to let go of have been with us for a long time—probably our whole lives. It is also scary to think about what our lives will be like without our character defects. Some character defects seem more like survival tools than flaws. If our defects are removed, we may feel we won't be able to survive. The image of a decent citizen may seem repulsive to us. Many of us have strongly clung to a self-image—casual, free from the constraints of bourgeois society—and this feels good to us. Perhaps we fear that by working on the Sixth Step, we will become gray conformists. We may think we are nothing but our flaws, and we do not know what will remain if they are removed. Our fears may not be entirely specific and may take on vague shapes. If we draw logical conclusions from them, we will likely find that they are unfounded. In other words, if we articulate them aloud, we can see what they are about.  
Are there parts of me that I love, but may be "character defects"? Am I afraid that I won't like myself if these flaws are removed?  
What do I think will be removed?  

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NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.1.2

6.1.2. LONG-KNOWN CHARACTER DEFECTS  

If we have prior experience with the Sixth Step, our character defects are not new to us. In fact, we may have recently discovered, to our dismay, that some of our character defects are still present or we may be saddened by the resurfacing of an old defect in a new manifestation.  
Take insecurity, for example. We may no longer be running around in transparent attempts to convince everyone how great we are, but our character defect still exists. Recently, our character defect may have manifested in a milder form in our behavior, gnawing away at us from within. We may have subconsciously sabotaged others' efforts to make ourselves look better beside them, or we may have trampled on someone’s desires because they did not directly meet our needs. What is particularly painful about realizing these things is that we have begun to think of ourselves a bit better in the context of later recovery.

We feel deep shame for having hurt others. We may feel fear about being unable to change, that one or another of our character defects will remain forever. But it may be comforting to acknowledge that we are now aware of how we have behaved, what we have done, and that we are willing to work on it. We must maintain a sense of hope and faith that the recovery process works even for the most deeply ingrained character defects.

Do I still believe in the recovery process? Do I believe in change? Have I changed so far? Which character defects do I no longer need to deal with?  
Are there character defects that I believe cannot be removed? What are they? Why do I believe they cannot be removed?  

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NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.2

6.2. …FOR GOD TO REMOVE…

Yes, the Sixth Step states that only a power greater than ourselves can remove our character defects. However, how we understand what this actually means is directly influenced by how much experience we have with the repeated struggles and surrender associated with the Sixth Step.

The first thing most of us do concerning our character defects is decide to get rid of them. Unfortunately, this is a futile attempt—just as effective as trying to control our use. We may achieve apparent success for a little while, but the defects eventually resurface. The problem is that character defects are parts of our identity. We will always be exposed to returning to our worst character defects in stressful situations.

What we need to do in the Sixth Step resembles quite a bit what we had to do in the first two steps. We must admit that an inner force has defeated us, which has brought nothing but pain and humiliation into our lives; then we must admit that we need help to do something about it. We must completely accept the fact that we cannot remove our character defects and prepare ourselves to ask God to do so for us in the Seventh Step.

How do I try to remove or control my character defects? What have my attempts resulted in?  
What is the difference between being entirely ready for God to remove my character defects and suppressing them myself?  
How do I increase my trust in the God of my understanding in this step?  
How does my surrender deepen in this step?  

What action can show that I am entirely ready?  

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NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.3

6.3. OUR CHARACTER DEFECTS  

After working so much on the Fourth and Fifth Steps, we still may not be completely aware of the nature of our character defects at this point. We may be wondering where exactly in the complex structure of our personality lies the point where our flaws end, and our character begins. Why do we do what we do? Can someone else be blamed for it? When did we first feel this way? Why? How? Where? If we are not careful enough, we may become self-obsessed and lose sight of why we are working on the Sixth Step. We must focus our efforts. Our goal is to recognize our character defects so that we can be entirely ready to have them removed—not to analyze their roots or to entirely consume ourselves.

Our character defects are parts of our basic nature. We will see that our basic nature is the same as anyone else's. We have needs that we try to satisfy. For example, we need love. How we obtain that love—this is where our character defects come into play. If we gain love at the expense of lying, cheating, hurting others, or degrading ourselves, then our character defects dictate our actions. As we described in *How It Works: How and Why*, our flaws are fundamental human traits distorted by our self-centeredness. With the help of our sponsor, we need to list all our character defects, describe how they manifest in our behavior, see how they affect our lives, and, importantly, how we feel when we practice the defect. If we can imagine what our lives would be like without our defects, we can believe that we can exist without them. Some people practically do this by finding the opposite spiritual principle for each character defect.  
List the defects and briefly define them.  

In what ways do they influence my behavior?  
When my character defects dictate my behavior, how does this affect me and others?  
What feelings are associated with these character defects? Am I trying to suppress certain feelings by nurturing my character defects?  
What would my life be like without such behavior? What spiritual principle can I apply instead?  

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NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.4.1

6.4. Spiritual Principles  
In the Sixth Step, we focus on commitment, perseverance, willingness, faith, trust, and self-acceptance.

6.4.1. COMMITMENT AND PERSEVERANCE  

At this point in the Sixth Step, we are already quite aware of our shortcomings. In fact, we are likely so aware that we see them manifesting in our daily lives, and most of the time, we manage to stop ourselves from acting on their influence. Occasionally, our awareness fades, and we are not as vigilant in monitoring our behavior. It takes an immense amount of energy to observe ourselves every second and to exclude every negative impulse that prompts us to act. We let ourselves slip into the routine of everyday life until we begin to feel bad again, we feel ashamed, and we don’t understand how it is possible that we have worked so hard on the steps yet find ourselves doing the same things again.

Nevertheless, we do not give up; instead, we commit ourselves to our recovery. Despite our failures, we hold onto the newly acquired principles. We continue to move forward, even if we have taken a few steps back. We seek gradual progress, not immediate perfection.  
How is my commitment to recovery manifested today?  
By working on the first five steps, I have been persistent in my recovery. Why is this quality so important in the Sixth Step?

NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.4.2

6.4.2. WILLINGNESS

The application of the spiritual principle of willingness simply means that we are willing to operate differently. This does not mean that we will operate differently or that we are even capable of it. This thought is best illustrated by an example. Let’s say we have not been honest—with our family, employer, friends—to varying degrees, from mild to severe. While it might seem better to gradually become willing—focusing our willingness on the worst, most destructive forms of dishonesty—this step says that we are fully prepared to remove every character defect. This means we are willing to never lie again, not even a little bit. This may seem more than we can expect from ourselves, but we only need to do it for today.

It is difficult to show this kind of willingness, especially when the visible consequences of a small lie are not so severe. We may be aware that we are not entirely honest, but if we think we are not hurting anyone and can get away with it, then why should we stress over it? But such thinking has the most serious spiritual consequences. No one may be hurt by our dishonesty, and no one may even find out, but dishonesty then echoes in our souls. Perhaps we are not even aware of it; perhaps we sleep soundly at night, but when we could act differently and still choose the character defect, our spiritual growth comes to a halt. If we remain unwilling, we ultimately paralyze our spiritual development.

Am I willing this time to have every character defect removed? If not, why not?  
What did I do today that shows my willingness?

NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.4.3

6.4.3. FAITH AND TRUST

The willingness required for this step also requires an equal measure of faith and trust. We must believe that a Higher Power is working in our lives just as much as necessary. Let’s continue with the example of dishonesty. We must trust that the Higher Power will not remove dishonesty from our lives to such an extent that we become brutally honest and unable to remain silent even when the truth would hurt someone. If we step aside so that God can do His work in our lives, then we will experience just the right amount of spiritual growth that we need.

To what extent is my fear of what I will become still present? Has it disappeared since I started working on the step?  
How do I increase my trust in God as I perceive Him in this step?

NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.4.4

6.4.4. SELF-ACCEPTANCE

The words “completely” and “all” play an important role in this step, so we can easily become overly self-critical and perfectionistic. We must remember that while our willingness must be complete, we will not be perfect—neither today nor ever. When we act on a character defect against our will, we must practice the principle of self-acceptance. We must accept that while we are still capable of acting incorrectly, we are willing to change; by acknowledging this, we renew our commitment to change. We have progressed just as much as we need to for today, and if we were perfect, we would not need to grow any further.

Do I accept myself today? What do I like about myself? What has changed since I started working on this step?

NA - Step 6 - Chapter 6.5

6.5. MOVING FORWARD

In the past—during our childhood or during our active addiction—we surely had ideas about what we would become. Perhaps we thought we were born in the wrong place to realize our dreams or that we were simply inherently incapable of breaking through. Once, we may have dreamed of money, status, or position. In the Narcotics Anonymous spiritual program, we are primarily interested in spiritual growth. We try to think of the qualities we would like to possess or recall those people we know who have the qualities we desire.

As we work on this step, we begin to form a picture of what kind of person we want to become. If we are selfish, we might have an image of selflessness before us, perhaps in helping another addict find recovery or through some other form of selfless assistance. If we are lazy, we might envision ourselves as diligent, reaping the rewards of our efforts. If we are dishonest, we might dream of the freedom we could gain by no longer worrying about what will happen if our lies are discovered.  
We expect this step to provide us with a vision of ourselves and the hope that this vision can become a reality.  
What will I do with the qualities I want to achieve? What will I do in my work? What will I do in my free time? What kind of parent, child, partner, or friend will I be? Be specific.

This image can serve as our inspiration. We can recall it when we feel despair or when it seems to take a long time to reach our goals. It keeps us grounded and helps renew our willingness. This image will be the launching pad for the Seventh Step, where we ask the God of our understanding to remove our character defects.