Resource for the AA 4th Step

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4. I will thoroughly and boldly take a moral inventory of myself.

Before you start the following exercises:

Review the materials from your first three steps one more time!

Reaffirm the following within yourself:

Are you intending to fundamentally change your way of thinking?

Are you willing to trust God with the course of your life?

Read the materials for Step 4 in the Big Book again (pages 60-67)!

Read Step 4 in our 12/12 book!

Attend meetings where Step 4 is discussed!

Talk to your sponsor or peers about Step 4!


4.1. I move beyond the idea that my character defects were caused by drinking, and that apart from drinking, I would have no problems.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

What excuses do people come up with to avoid self-examination?

Have you had similar excuses that hindered your inventory?

What percentage of your problems was caused by drinking, and how much by your ego?

Does spiritual growth generally lead to peace of mind?

Is self-examination necessary for spiritual growth?

Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

Self-centered thinking causes more problems and suffering than drinking itself.


4.2. I move beyond the idea that my troubles are caused by others.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

What evidence is there that others make more mistakes than you?

What supports the idea that others' mistakes are worse than yours?

Could it be possible that your mistakes cause no trouble for anyone?

Is it true that your problems stem more from others' mistakes than your own?

Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

Your troubles mostly arise from within you.


4.3. I will take inventory of my resentments (anger list).

Write down (reflect on) the following:

Who are the people you resent the most?

What organizations or institutions would you like to eliminate?

What social phenomena, ideologies, or worldviews do you abhor?

What (material, moral, social) damages have these caused you?

Which of your relationships have been harmed or ruined?

Which of your plans have been thwarted or jeopardized?

How have they insulted your self-esteem, self-worth, or ego?

Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

Desire for revenge (though sweet) is not a solution.

Anger poisons your soul.

Resentment causes suffering. And mainly for you.


4.4. I forgive myself.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

Do you still feel shame for your past actions? Do you want grace?

Do you still feel guilt? How could you resolve it?

How do you feel about self-pity? And what is your relationship with God?

Do you believe that sins demand retribution?

Do you feel that you have not yet suffered enough?

Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

Everyone can make mistakes. So can you.

Mistakes can be corrected, so you don’t have to suffer for them.

Your mistakes can be corrected, so you don’t have to suffer for them either.

Practice the following (or something similar):

God, forgive my mistakes and help me forgive myself!

When a mistaken action comes to mind, say to yourself:

I don’t regret doing this…

It seemed like a good idea at the time…


4.5. I forgive my mother.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

Do you resent your mother (one or both of your parents)?

To what extent do her actions stem from:

her maternal (parental) role?

her upbringing?

societal expectations?

misinterpreted goodwill?

sick thoughts beyond her control?

Would you call her guilty? And if so, why not?

Does she have good qualities? List them!

Do you have to resent her for her mistakes?

Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

She is lovable even with her flaws.

Think of your mother, and repeat the following to yourself (or something similar):

Mother, I forgive you for all your mistakes.

Mother, I know you are good and lovable.


4.6. I forgive everyone.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

Is there a risk of relapse if you don’t grow spiritually?

Can you grow spiritually when you feel bad?

Do you feel good when you resent someone?

Is it your job to punish the guilty?

Are the people on your “anger list” guilty?

Are you willing to try to understand those who have wronged you?

Are you willing to let go of your desire for retribution regarding their mistakes?

Are people generally guilty?

Are you willing to release any desire for revenge for your own peace of mind?

If others are guilty, then you must be too. Do you understand this?

If you see others as innocent, then you cannot be guilty either. Is that clear?


Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

When you forgive someone, love and peace enter your heart.

Think of someone you resent, and repeat the following to yourself (or something similar):

I forgive you. All the joys of life are yours. You are free, and I am free too.

I know you are good and lovable because everyone is good and lovable.

My brother! I see you through Christ’s eyes, and I see my perfect innocence in you.


4.7. I forgive every group, office, or institution.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

Who do you resent just because they have a different religion?

Who do you resent just because they have a different nationality?

Who do you resent just because they have a different gender identity or orientation?

Who do you resent just because they have a different worldview?

Who do you resent just because they have a different political stance?

Who do you resent just because they have a different lifestyle?

Who do you resent just because they are different?


Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

Just because someone thinks differently doesn’t mean they can’t be good people.

Just because some do not “play on our team” doesn’t mean they can’t be loved.


4.8. I start to recognize the negative emotions behind my bad feelings.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

Do you still feel a physical dependency on alcohol?

Do your drinking habits still rear their heads?

Do you still envy those who “can drink”?

Do you still miss alcohol to truly feel good?

Do you sometimes feel shame? When was the last time you felt it?

Do you sometimes feel guilt or remorse? In what situations?

Do you sometimes feel numbness? When was the last time you felt it?

Do you sometimes feel fear or anxiety? How do you cope with your anxiety?

Do you sometimes suffer from loneliness? From depression? What do you do then?

Do you sometimes long for something strongly? What are the main objects of your desires?

Do you sometimes feel angry? When and who were you last angry at?

How do you feel about pride? Is there a time when it is unjustified?


Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

Negative emotions cause a lot of suffering.


4.9. I will take inventory of my fears and anxieties (fear list):

Write down (reflect on) the following:

What fears do you have? What are you afraid of?

What thoughts surround these fears?

Why do these fears live within you?

Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

Trusting in God’s will removes our fears.

Love and fear exclude each other.


4.10. I begin to identify the negative thoughts surrounding negative emotions.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

What could be the connection between emotions and thoughts?

Are there habitual thought patterns that accompany certain emotions?

What thoughts are associated with the emotions you previously discovered?


Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

Similar emotions are associated with similar thoughts. And vice versa.


4.11. I begin to let go of negative thinking, attitudes.

Write down (reflect on) the following:

Does a negative attitude more often lead to negative thoughts?

Can more positive thinking help in suppressing negative thoughts?

Is there something more positive that can be sought for every negative thought?

How could you replace your negative thoughts with better ones?

Could you apply this to every single negative thought? Would you try?

And could you find the right counterparts to your incorrect attitudes? Would you try?

Can a more positive mindset be reinforced through practice?


Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:

A positive attitude can help suppress negative emotions.

Mastering every positive thing is merely a question of practice.


Create your attitude inventory and start practicing (something like this, with your own examples):

I am peaceful, not aggressive!

I am a fighter, not competitive!

I am responsible, not guilty!

I am trusting, not dependent!



4.12. I realize that I am not my thoughts; thoughts come and go; they have no significance.

Write down (reflect on) the following:


How essential is it to your true self that you feel good right now?

Do bad feelings fade away over time—even on their own?

How essential is it to your true self that you feel what emotions are swirling within you?

Can the emotions you just experienced be forgotten?

How essential is it to your true self what thoughts are in your mind?

Can any thought be let go of at any time?

Can different thoughts be chosen at any time instead?

Can the mind be completely emptied for a while?


Write down any experience you have that supports the idea that:


Letting go of bad thoughts can uplift your mood.

Emptying the mind can bring peace.

Try a "mindfulness meditation"! Some sources:

Mind Control CDs
Balogh Béla (YouTube)
Buddha Brain (book + CD)
Sorsnavigator.hu


CHECK QUESTIONS

For AA Step 4

Do you believe that your character defects were caused by drinking?
Is it true that aside from drinking, there is nothing wrong with you?
Do you still think that your problems are caused by others?
Have you forgiven yourself yet?
Do you still hold a grudge against anyone in the world? Have you forgiven your mother?
Do you hate those who think differently? Liberals or conservatives?
And those who are different? Gays, Romani people, immigrants? And pedophiles?
Are you angry with the government? The previous government? Any office or institution?
Can you recognize the negative emotions behind your bad feelings?
Can you identify the negative thoughts surrounding your negative emotions?
Can you let go of negative thinking patterns and attitudes?
Have you realized that you are not your thoughts?
Do you know that thoughts just come and go? That they have no significance?