Resource for the AA 8th Step

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8. I will consider all those I have harmed in the past, and I will become willing to make amends to all of them.

As an introduction to the step work:

Study the 8th step in our 12/12 book!

Attend meetings that focus on the 8th step!

Talk with your sponsor about the 8th step!



8.1, I look back to see where I have made mistakes to the detriment of others.

As a warm-up, briefly write down (think about) whether:

Is it true that you have only harmed yourself?

Are you afraid of your secrets being revealed?

Are you still resentful toward many people?

Are you still worried that you have committed irreparable sins?

Would you rather forget in many cases than stir up the past?

Do you doubt that making amends can be the beginning of a new life?

Are there cases where you expect the other party to initiate the amends?

Do you expect forgiveness from others in exchange for your amends?

Do you feel a strong urge to quickly apologize to everyone?

Do you clearly understand what DIRECT amends are?

Create a table with 3 columns:

In the first column, write down those you have harmed! Use the resentment list from your 4th step as a guide!

In the second column, write down what (material, physical, spiritual, emotional) harm you caused!

Leave the 3rd column empty for now. Plans for amends will go there.



8.2, I assess whether I am still resentful toward anyone in the world.

Answer the following checklist questions honestly:

Have you acknowledged that you have harmed others, not just yourself?

Do you still have secrets from anyone?

Have you forgiven your mother? Really? Everything?

Have you forgiven others you have resented?

Do you still sometimes think that others want to harm you deliberately?

Do you still sometimes think there are unforgivable sins in the world?

Are you still angry at any organization, ideology, politics, or religion?

Do you still hate those who think differently from you and those who are different? And pedophiles?



8.3, I clearly see that my mistakes can be corrected and made amends for.

Write down (think about) whether:

Do you sometimes wish for others to suffer for their sins?

What about criminals? Do they have to suffer?

Do you want wrongdoers (e.g., criminals) to suffer?

Do you still have guilt about your past actions?

Do you resent yourself for your existing character flaws?

Does spiritual growth reduce the risk of making mistakes?

Write down any experiences that support the idea that:

You are responsible, not guilty.

Your mistakes can be corrected.

Your mistakes can be made amends for.



8.4, I will become willing to finally close the past and start a new life.

Write down (think about) whether:

Do you think that genuine amends can change our lives?

Does the past bind us if we do not dare to reveal it?

Do you still want to forget? Or would you rather start revealing it?

Are those who have made necessary amends freer?

Do you want freedom?

Are you willing to make amends?

Write down any experiences that support the idea that:

You can start a new life every day.

Today is the beginning of a new life.



8.5, I will examine whether I still have expectations of others.

Write down (think about) whether:

Who do you think should initiate making amends?

Do amends diminish or strengthen self-esteem?

Is it also good for you to make amends to someone?

Do you expect forgiveness from those to whom you will make amends?

If you have expectations of others, will they do the same with you?

What does the slogan "Live and let live" mean to you?

Write down any experiences that support the idea that:

Making amends sets you free.

Practice the following (or something similar):

I accept that making amends does not require the other party to do so.

I accept that making amends does not aim for the other person to forgive.



8.6, I will learn the forms of direct amends.

Make lists of:

What forms of contact do you know?

What mistakes do you plan to acknowledge during the amends?

What types of harm did you cause with your mistakes?

In what forms can you provide direct amends?



8.7, I recognize that an apology is not amends.

Write down (think about) whether:

In what cases is an immediate apology useful?

Why is it not suitable for making amends for past harms?



8.8, I will make a plan for making direct amends.

Organize your amends table chronologically based on:

Who will you immediately contact for full or partial amends?

With whom do you plan to follow up later? When?

Who should you delay action with? For how long?

With whom is personal contact impossible? Is there another way?

In the third (PLAN) column, write what you plan to do:

How will you contact the individual?

How will you acknowledge the harm caused and its extent?

How do you intend to make this right?

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CHECKLIST QUESTIONS

For the AA 8th Step

Do you dare to look back at the past to see where you have made mistakes to the detriment of others?

Are you still resentful toward anyone in the world?

Have you forgiven your mother?

Do you clearly see that mistakes can always be corrected and made amends for?

Are you willing to finally close the past and start a new life?

Do you accept that making amends does not require the other party to do so?

Do you accept that making amends does not aim for the other to forgive?

Have you considered the forms of direct amends?

Do you accept that an apology cannot replace making amends?

Have you made a chronological plan for making direct amends?