“It’s easy to stop the spiritual action program and rest on our laurels. If we do this, great troubles await us because alcohol [cigarettes, drugs, sex, ego, …] is a cunning adversary. We have not recovered from alcoholism. What we have achieved is a suspended sentence, the condition of which is the cultivation of spirituality. Every single day is for realizing God's will in our actions. ‘How can I best serve You? Your will be done, not mine.’ – These thoughts must constantly accompany us. This way, we can also exercise our willpower to the desired extent. This is the correct application of will. […] The Eleventh Step suggests prayer and meditation. We must not be shy! Those who are better than us constantly live by it. We will succeed if we show the appropriate attitude and do not spare the effort.”
So what do I do?
11. I strive to deepen my conscious connection with God through prayer and meditation. I seek to recognize His will for me and the strength to carry it out.
As part of this:
I have become familiar with the three main elements of our spiritual toolkit.
I regularly read AA literature.
I also regularly read other spiritual literature.
I reflect on what I’ve read.
I practice meditation.
I pray but don’t burden God with my personal requests.
I recognize His will for me.
I give thanks in prayer.
I praise Him!
Guide for this step:
As an introduction to working on this step:
Study the 11th step in the Step Book!
Attend meetings focused on the 11th step!
Discuss the 11th step with your sponsor!
11.1. I have become familiar with the three main elements of our spiritual toolkit.
These are:
Self-examination
Meditation
Prayer
What are these, actually? Let’s get acquainted with them! The "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" book states on page 100:
"Self-examination, meditation, and prayer are closely linked. Each individually can bring relief and benefits. But when combined, they provide an unshakeable foundation for our lives. So much so that at times we can even taste the foretaste of God's kingdom. We draw strength and security from knowing we will eventually reach this kingdom, as long as we try to recognize and fulfill the will of our Creator, even if we stumble along the way."
As we’ve seen, self-examination offers a new perspective, prompting us to take action in transforming the dark and negative aspects of our nature, enriching us with grace. Self-examination leads to humility, opening the door of our soul to God's helping power. But this is just one step, and we want to move forward.
We want the good within us — and this exists even in the most wretched — to grow and flourish. For this, it needs air and nourishment, but above all, it needs sunlight, for nothing grows in darkness. Meditation leads us into the sunlight.
Prayer is the lifting of our hearts and minds to God. Prayer is usually understood as a request directed to God. By opening the channel of communication, we try to ask for what is most needed for us and others. We believe that all our needs are expressed in the words of the Eleventh Step: "...to know His will for us and ...the power to carry that out." Such a request is timely at any moment of the day."
Self-examination was the focus of my 10th step. In my 11th step, I deal with prayer and meditation. How do I meditate? I will write about this next.
Guide for this part of the step:
Reflect on and write down:
What is self-examination for?
When do we do self-examination?
What types of self-examination are there?
What is meditation for?
When do we meditate?
What types of meditation are there?
What is prayer for?
When do we pray?
What types of prayers are there?
11.2. I regularly read AA literature.
I dealt with the first element of our spiritual toolkit, self-examination, in steps 4 and 6, and I regularly apply it in connection with the 10th step. I’ve already written about this.
Now let’s look at the second element, meditation. The Step Book states on page 101:
"Meditation is not about arguing but calmly considering the thoughts of someone more experienced than us with the aim of sharing in their experience and learning from it."
And who are those more experienced than me? Well, those who have walked this path before me. For example, in sobriety. For example, older members of AA, who even took the effort to write down their thoughts for me in a readable format.
So, I’ve read the AA literature available to me, some of it more than once, even more than twice. You can access most of it at any AA meeting. My favorites are:
Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book)
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Step Book)
Living Sober
Came to Believe
Daily Reflections
Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age
If you attend other self-help groups (Al-Anon, NA, CA, GA, OA, EA, ACA, CoDA, SLAA, Hawkins Group), you can find specific literature related to your addictions at their meetings or on their Facebook pages. Feel free to read them. Usually, every such group has the following:
Books
Rough translations of "basic texts"
Daily reflections
Step guides
Happy reading!
Guide for this part of the step:
Reflect on and write down:
Which AA or other self-help books have you read?
Which one will you read next?
Which one impacted you the most?
Is there one that you regularly read?
Gather wise thoughts and slogans from these books for yourself!
Write them down on sticky notes or electronic sticky notes. Place them in places (fridge, TV, Monitor, smartphone) where you can see them daily. Practice, repeat, and mantra them! A few examples: "Thy will be done, not mine!" "Selfishness, self-centeredness – that is the root of our troubles." "I place my will and my life in God’s care." "We come to know serenity and peace." "By giving to others – we receive."
11.3. I regularly read other spiritual literature too.
I’ve already quoted from the Step Book that:
"Meditation is not about arguing but calmly considering the thoughts of someone more experienced than us with the aim of sharing in their experience and learning from it."
After studying AA literature, I began reading other spiritual books, and I still read them to this day. When it comes to religious books, I always consider that the original teachings of the Master can be somewhat distorted by later disciples and biographers, and religious institutions may influence them (like the Bible at the Council of Nicaea).
All in all, I’ve found higher-level spiritual literature very useful, so I’m sharing a list of them (in no particular order), so you can discover them if you feel like reading:
Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now; A New Earth)
David R. Hawkins (Power vs. Force; The Eye of the I)
A Course in Miracles
Karen Casey (Change Your Mind)
Anthony de Mello (Awareness; On the Way to God)
Dr. Rick Hanson (Buddha’s Brain)
Béla Balogh (The Ten Commandments of the Subconscious)
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj (Beyond Freedom; I Am That)
Bhagavad Gita
Buddha’s Teachings
New Testament
Sri Chinmoy (The Inner Promise; Meditation)
Gunagriha (Navigator of Destiny)
Osho (The Book of Ego)
Kurt Tepperwein (The Wonders of Creative Imagination; Super Intuition)
Lao Tzu (Tao Te Ching)
Dr. Joseph Murphy (The Power of Your Subconscious Mind)
The I Ching
Tibetan Book of the Dead (Bardo Thodol)
Happy reading and reflection! If you have your own suggestions for higher-level spiritual works, feel free to write them in the comments.
Guide for this part of the step:
Reflect on what the following terms mean to you:
Spiritual
Religious
Teaching
Teacher
From your spiritual readings, gather wise thoughts and truths for yourself!
Write them down on sticky notes or electronic sticky notes.
Place them in places (fridge, TV, Monitor, smartphone) where you can see them daily.
Practice, repeat, and mantra them! A few personal examples:
"Acceptance of the unacceptable – the greatest source of grace."
"I needed suffering until I realized it was unnecessary."
"Situations don't make you unhappy. Thoughts do."
11.4. I Reflect on What I Read.
In the previous section, I wrote that I regularly read AA and other spiritual works. I don't read them like a pulp novel. Instead, I read very slowly and thoughtfully. Meanwhile, I reflect on what I have read. I deepen the truths contained in them. I break them down into lines, sentences, and words, then I reassemble them and read them again. I would like to provide two examples now:
- The Step Book states on page 101 (presumably referring to St. Francis of Assisi):
- Secondly, I would like to quote a prayer from an even greater teacher (Jesus):
"Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us; And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. (For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, now and forever. Amen.)"Personally, the following thoughts strongly formulate in me as I read these lines:
- Thy will be done, not mine!
- We receive everything we need from You (now).
- As we forgive those who have sinned against us, so our sins are forgiven!
- Yours alone is the glory! Transform your mindset as well with the help of meditation. Good work!
Write down (reflect on) whether you:
- Do you often meditate on any prayers?
- If not, when will you start practicing?
- How does it feel for you to contemplate a series of thoughts at a high spiritual level?
Take out the following prayers and reflect on them, line by line:
Prayer for Spiritual Peace (Step Book, page 42)
Step 3 Prayer (Big Book, page 60)
Step 7 Prayer (Big Book, page 71)
Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi (Step Book, page 101)
Our Father
I Believe in God (mainly for Catholics)
11.5. I Practice Meditation Exercises.
To deepen my conscious relationship with God, I regularly meditate. I typically use three main forms:
CONCENTRATION
I have already mentioned that I read AA literature and other spiritual books. When I do this, I try to eliminate distracting external factors (radio, TV, other people). I move slowly and thoughtfully, line by line, word by word. I try to deepen, place in my consciousness, and program the things I have read. I do the same with my own "programming" mantras that I worked on in Steps 7 and 10. For example, currently, this "yellow slip" is on my screen (from A Course in Miracles), which I practice daily:
"My brother! I see you through Christ’s eyes, and I see in you my perfect innocence."
MEDITATION
In addition, I also engage in guided meditation exercises. I sit in a comfortable chair and listen to a guided meditation recording aimed at positively reprogramming my subconscious. My favorites include:
Béla Balogh (The Ten Commandments of the Subconscious)
Brain Control: I’m at peace with myself, I’m at peace with others
Dr. Rick Hanson (Buddha’s Brain)
Gunagriha (Fate Navigator)
In addition, I usually do a so-called "loving-kindness meditation" before going to bed. I sit down, relax, close my eyes, and visualize someone to whom I would like to send loving energy. Then, I imagine that I smile at them, and they smile back at me. I wave to them, and they kindly wave back. I jump with joy at seeing them, and they jump with joy too. I go up to them, we shake hands. We laugh. We hug each other. Both of us have big smiles on our faces. We love each other. I do this with 8-10 people. I make sure that they are not only my closest relatives but also people I don’t particularly like (an annoying acquaintance), or with whom my relationship is neutral (for example, my boss).
CONTEMPLATION
The goal of contemplation is to turn off the projector in my head. This is actually "presence contemplation," which is also known as "Mindfulness" in modern English psychological literature. This can be done anywhere, anytime. If I don’t get around to it during the day, I definitely do it before going to bed. I turn off the lights. I sit on the edge of the bed. In the dim light, my eyes are open. I look at the wall. I see the wall. (I say these things to myself.) I see the wall, not anything else. I step out of my head. The projector stops. I see what I see, I don’t project. My breathing is calm. In, out. One. Two. No need for the projector. It’s off for today. I step out of my head. I am present. I am here. I see the wall and the surrounding objects. My breathing is calm. I don’t project. I am present. I am here. I am... etc. (After a while, I lie down and fall asleep.)
I wish you good meditation!
Guidance for the step section:
Try to study the following thoughts with concentrated attention:
It is baseless arrogance to think that anything else exists besides God.
I see you through Christ’s eyes, and I see in you my perfect innocence.
Only my own thoughts can cause me pain.
My own peace of mind is the only gift I can give to the world.
My mind is a part of God’s mind. Surely I am holy!
Regularly listen to guided meditation exercises! For example:
Brain Control CDs
Gunagriha: Fate Navigator
Béla Balogh: The Ten Commandments of the Subconscious
Try the following practices:
Loving-kindness meditation
Presence contemplation
11.6. I Pray, but I Don’t Burden God with My Requests.
In an unconventional way, let me first quote Wikipedia:
"Prayer is a religious concept; most generally, it refers to an individual's or community's communication with the transcendent. In this definition, the transcendent—depending on the belief system of a given religion—can have various meanings. It can refer to God or gods, the dead, personal or impersonal spiritual beings, an unspecified numinous being, or the organizing principle of the world. Communication, in this sense, can mean any form of maintaining a relationship, with the most varied expressions. In this way, praying can take place in thought or aloud; with words, songs, or without words; through dance or any other movement, gesture – or any combination of these."
The Step Book states on page 103, somewhat more simply:
"By prayer, we generally mean a request directed toward God. By opening the channel of communication, we try to ask for what we and others need most. We believe that our entire range of needs has found expression in the words of the Eleventh Step: '... that we may know His will for us and carry it out.' Such requests are timely at any time of day."
By the time I reached Step 11 in our program, I had already moved past asking God for all kinds of things to acquire or occur. On the one hand, I know that I receive everything I need from God without having to ask for it separately. On the other hand, I don’t want to control things; I don’t want to determine the direction in which the world should go. So how do I pray? What prayers do I use?
Again, a quote from Wikipedia:
"According to traditional Christian classification, prayer can be adoration, thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession. However, we can actually speak of the infinite richness of prayers."
Here are a few examples from my own practice:
ADORATION:
Glory belongs to God alone!
Glory to God in the highest!
THANKSGIVING:
My God, I am grateful that I am alive!
I am grateful that I do not have to drink!
I am grateful that I could get to know the AA program!
REQUEST:
Give us our daily bread today!
My God, grant me peace of mind!
ATONEMENT:
Forgive us our sins!
I confess to Almighty God, and to you, my brothers...
I will bring more examples of certain types later.
Guidance for the step section:
Try to come up with some examples for the following types of prayer:
Praise
Thanksgiving
Request
Atonement
11.7. I recognize His will concerning me.
In the previous step section, I wrote about the different types of prayers (praise, thanksgiving, request, atonement). I also mentioned that I usually do not ask God for all sorts of things to acquire or happen. So what do I ask for? Well, as Step 11 mentions:
“...simply asking to recognize His will concerning us and the strength to carry that out.”
The Step Book also speaks about this on page 104:
“We may be tempted to pray for a solution precisely defined by us and for the ability to help others—of course, according to our own conception. In this case, we are asking God to arrange things according to our will. Therefore, it is important to review such requests and see their true face. Even when we ask for specific things, it is good to modify it like this: ‘...if it is Your will.’ We simply ask God to implant within us the fullest possible understanding of His will for today; and grant us the grace to carry it out. During the day, when we need to make a decision on a matter, we can pause and repeat the prayer: ‘Your will be done, not mine!’”
It is also mentioned on page 106:
“We also realize that the degree to which we feel God’s guidance corresponds to the degree to which we cease to demand that He arrange things according to our conceptions.”
I also read this in the Daily Reflection for November 20:
“I must never forget that I am responsible for the effort, while God is responsible for the outcome. I will be able to ‘let go and let God’ if I humbly repeat: ‘Your will be done, not mine.’ If I patiently and persistently seek His will concerning me, I will be free from the pain of selfish expectations.”
Let go! Trust in God! – Let go! Let God!
Guidance for the step section:
Write down (think about) whether:
Do you always pray for what you and others need most?
Do you bombard God with your self-centered (ego) demands?
Do you always add to your requests: “...if it is Your will!”?
Do you still sometimes want to arrange things according to your own ideas?
Practice daily:
MY GOD!
What do you want me to do?
Where do you want me to go?
What do you want me to say, and to whom?
11.8. I say a prayer of thanksgiving.
Previously, I wrote about the different types of prayers (praise, thanksgiving, request, atonement). Now I want to share my prayer of thanksgiving, which I usually say to myself before going to bed:
My God! I am grateful for:
That I am alive and not lacking.
That I live and am healthy.
That I am spiritually growing, and my awareness is increasing.
That I can be a member of AA, and my relationships are improving.
That I have found You.
In addition, at any time of the day, I fill my heart with gratitude if I am feeling a bit down. In such moments, I simply say to myself: “How good!”
Many times, I recall things (for example, when I see suffering people) that no longer burden me because I have entrusted them to God. For example:
I am grateful that I no longer have to drink.
I am grateful that I no longer have to fear.
I am grateful that I no longer have to suffer.
I am grateful that I no longer have to resent.
I am grateful that I no longer have to be angry.
I am grateful that I no longer have to judge.
I am grateful that I no longer demand others’ understanding.
I am grateful that I no longer demand others’ attention.
I am grateful that I no longer demand others’ love.
I am grateful that I no longer want to be the better one.
I am grateful that I no longer want to be right.
I am grateful that others’ behavior no longer disturbs me.
I am grateful that my feelings no longer disturb me.
I am grateful that the thoughts arising in my mind no longer disturb me.
Psychologists also know now: the antidote to depression is gratitude!
Guidance for the step section:
Practice—at least in the evenings—your own prayer of thanksgiving, something like this:
My God, I am grateful for:
That I am alive,
That I do not have to drink, (do drugs, use)
That I can grow spiritually.
11.9. I praise Him!
As a conclusion of my 11th step, allow me to share with you my prayers of praise to God. I usually say these to myself at any time of the day, whether I’m in a good mood or not, but I’d like to be:
Gloria in Excelsis Deo! – Glory to God in the highest!
Soli Deo Gloria! – Glory belongs to God alone!
Sanctus! – You are holy!
Benedictus! – You are blessed!
Hosanna in Excelsis Deo! – Hosanna in the highest to God!
Yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, now and forever!
I sing regularly in a choir. Often we sing Masses, usually to the text of the Latin liturgy. My favorite is the Gloria piece, whose complete Hungarian text is as follows:
“Glory to God in the highest!
And on earth peace to people of goodwill! We praise You, we bless You, we worship You, we glorify You. We give You thanks for Your great glory. Lord God, heavenly King, Almighty Father.
Lord Jesus Christ, only Son.
Lord and God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father, You take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us!
You take away the sins of the world, hear our prayer!
You sit at the right hand of the Father, have mercy on us!
For You alone are the Holy One, You alone are the Lord, You alone are the Most High, Jesus Christ,
with the Holy Spirit, in the glory of God the Father! Amen.”
Meditate on it!
Guidance for the step section:
Write down (think about) what the following statements mean (to you):
Glory to God in the highest!
Glory belongs to God alone!
Yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, now and forever!
Practice them whenever they come to mind!
11.10. Self-assessment questions – for Step 11
Before we move on to Step 12, do a little self-assessment. Answer the following questions for yourself:
Do you know the three main elements of our spiritual toolkit?
Do you regularly read AA literature?
Do you read other spiritual literature?
Do you usually reflect on what you have read?
Do you practice meditation exercises? What kind?
Do you pray? What kind of prayers do you have?
Do you still bombard God with requests related to your own desires?
Or have you already recognized His will concerning you?
Do you say a prayer of thanksgiving?
And a prayer of praise?
Brief explanations for the self-assessment questions of Step 11:
Self-examination, prayer, meditation
It is worth reading the Daily Reflection even after 10 years of sobriety.
It is worth reading other things too. Just make sure they are authentic.
Read slowly and attentively! There’s no need to rush!
Concentration, meditation, contemplation. Practice each of them!
Prayer is communication with God.
Prayer is not for this purpose.
God wants you to be happy and to live in peace.
The antidote to depression is gratitude.
Glory belongs to God alone!
The Step Book states on page 108:
“The theme of Step Twelve is joy in life, and its key is action. Here we turn to our suffering alcoholic brothers. Here we experience what it means to give—without the hope of reciprocation. Here we begin to practice the Twelve Steps in our daily lives so that we and our surroundings can achieve balanced sobriety. Considering the full significance of Step Twelve, we awaken to the realization that this is actually a love that carries no price tag. Step Twelve also asserts that as a result of practicing all the previous Steps, we experience something: we call this a spiritual awakening.”
So, what have I experienced?
The Step Book states on page 108:
