Step Workbook - Step 10:

"We continued our self-examination, and when we found ourselves at fault, we promptly admitted it."

(excerpt) - I.

With the completion of the first nine Steps, we prepare for a new life. However, when we reach the Tenth Step, we begin to practice the A.A. way of life in our daily existence—on both good and bad days. This is when the real test comes: can we remain sober under all circumstances, maintain our spiritual balance, and stay on the right path?

The continuous examination of our faults and good qualities, along with a sincere desire to grow through them, is necessary for us. We, alcoholics, have learned this the hard way. It is natural for experienced people to practice strict self-examination and self-criticism always and everywhere. The wise have always known that as long as self-examination does not become a regular habit, we won’t get far. Until we admit and accept what self-examination reveals, and until we patiently and persistently try to correct what is wrong, we cannot grow spiritually.

When a drunk is hungover because he drank too much the day before, he is unable to live well today. But there is another kind of hangover that we all experience, whether we drink or not. This is the emotional hangover, which is a direct result of our exaggerated negative emotions from yesterday—or even today—such as anger, fear, jealousy, and the like. In order to live balanced lives today and tomorrow, we must absolutely remove these "hangovers." This does not mean obsessively dwelling on the past.

It demands that we now acknowledge and correct our mistakes. Our inventory allows us to close the chapter on the past. When we complete it, we will truly be able to leave the past behind us. If we carry out this self-examination carefully, we can be assured that we will be able to cope with the tasks of the future and find peace within ourselves.
[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, pp. 90-91]

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Step Workbook - Step 10  
(excerpt) - II.

Although all self-examination is fundamentally similar, it can still differ based on when we conduct it:  
It can be a quick check that we can perform at any time of the day, especially when we feel our emotions are boiling.  
The other is done in the evening when we reflect on the events of the past day. At this time, we take stock, acknowledge the things we did well, but at the same time, we also see our shortcomings.

From time to time, whether alone or in the company of our sponsor or spiritual advisor, we can carefully review our progress since the last such discussion.  

Many A.A. members conduct a "thorough cleaning" once a year or every six months.  
Many enjoy attending closed retreats from time to time, where they can unplug from the outside world and spend a peaceful, uninterrupted day or two on thorough self-examination and reflection.

Isn’t this a mood killer, a waste of time? Do we need to fill our waking hours with the reproaches of our sins and omissions? We emphasize the importance of inventory because many have never made careful self-examination a regular practice. Once this healthy practice becomes ingrained in us, it will become so interesting and useful that we will not miss the time spent on it.

These minutes or hours spent in self-examination make the rest of the day better and happier. Our inventory will become a part of our daily lives over time, and it will no longer be an unusual or extraordinary event.
[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, pp. 91-92]

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Step Workbook - Step 10  
(excerpt) - III.

Before we examine what a quick check is, let’s look at the circumstances under which it can be useful.  
It is a fundamental spiritual principle that whenever something disturbs us, the problem lies within us. If someone hurts us, and it pains us, we are also at fault. Is there any exception to this? For example, "justified" anger? If someone cheats on us, do we not have the right to be angry? Is anger against hypocrites not justified? For us A.A. members, these exceptions are dangerous. We have learned that we must leave justified anger to those who can better control it.

Few have suffered as much damage from resentment as we alcoholics. It doesn’t matter much whether this resentment was justified or unjustified. The flare-up of our anger can ruin an entire day, and a carefully nurtured resentment can render us miserably useless. Besides, we have never had a strong side in seeing the difference between justified and unjustified anger. For us, anger was always justified. This is a luxury that only more balanced people can afford. It may evoke a prolonged "tipsy" emotional state in us. Such emotional "dry drunkenness" often leads directly to drinking. Other disturbances—such as jealousy, envy, self-pity, and resentment—result in the same.

A quick check conducted in the midst of such disturbed emotional states can help greatly in calming our stormy emotions.
[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, pp. 92-93]

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Step Workbook - Step 10  
(Excerpt) - IV.

A quick check-in, performed amidst a disturbed emotional state, can greatly help in calming our stormy feelings. The quick check-in is applicable in the daily grind of life. We can postpone the consideration of serious and prolonged difficulties to a time we can dedicate solely to that purpose. The quick inventory targets the everyday fluctuations of our emotions, particularly concerning things and people who can disturb our emotional balance.

In every such situation, we need self-control, honest analysis of the whole issue, and the readiness to admit when we are wrong and to be willing to forgive when others make mistakes. Let us not be discouraged if we revert to old behaviors, because mastering discipline in this area is not easy. We should strive for progress, not perfection.

Our immediate goal should be to acquire self-control. This should be at the top of our list. If we speak or act thoughtlessly and hastily, our ability to be correct and patient almost evaporates. A single raw outburst or rude remark can ruin our relationship with another person for a couple of days or even a year. Nothing is more useful than taming our tongue or pen. We must avoid impulsive criticism and angry debate. The same goes for sulking and silent contempt. These are all emotional time bombs, baited with pride and revenge. Our first task should be to avoid such traps.

When we are tempted, let us stop and think. After all, no one can think or act rightly if self-control does not become a habit. We do not only need self-control in unpleasant or unexpected problems. We must be just as careful when we begin to acquire authority and material success. No one has enjoyed personal success more than we have: the wine of success has intoxicated us. When the fleeting fortune smiled upon us, we dreamed of even greater triumphs. Thus, blinded by our proud self-confidence, we loved to play "big shot." The consequence could be that people became fed up with us and felt offended.  
[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, pp. 93-94.]

Step Workbook - Step 10  
(Excerpt) - V.

Now that we are sober in A.A. and beginning to regain the respect of our friends and colleagues, we find that we need to be particularly vigilant. Let us guard against grandiose behavior. Let us remember that we are sober today only by the grace of God, and that our success belongs far more to Him than to us.  
[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, p. 94.]

Step Workbook - Step 10  
(Excerpt) - VI.

Let us begin to realize that everyone, including ourselves, suffers from a certain degree of emotional illness and often makes mistakes. It is then that genuine patience begins to develop in us, as well as the understanding of what true brotherly love is. As we progress, it will become clearer that it is meaningless to become angry and to hurt others since they, too, suffer from the pains of "growth."

Such a radical change in our outlook on life takes time, perhaps a long time. Not everyone can sincerely claim to love all people. Most of us acknowledge that we love only a few; that we are indifferent to those who do not cause us trouble; and as for the others, we feel animosity or hatred toward them.

While such behavior is quite common, we, as A.A. members, know that we must strive for more if we want to preserve our spiritual balance. We cannot tolerate hatred within ourselves. We must abandon the mindset of loving a few people while disregarding many and fearing or hating anyone—even if this takes a long time.

We might try not to approach those we love with unreasonable demands. We can be kind to those we have not been kind to before. And with others whom we do not like, we can be fair, polite, and perhaps even more lenient than necessary.  
If we still commit an omission toward them, we should always be willing to admit it to ourselves and to them if it helps. Courtesy, kindness, fairness, and love—these should set the tone through which we can live harmoniously with almost everyone.

When we are unsure of a matter, we can stop and say: "Not my will, but Yours be done!" We can also ask ourselves: "Am I doing to others today what I expect from them?"  
[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, pp. 94-95.]

Step Workbook - Step 10  
(Excerpt) - VII.

In the evening, before going to bed, many of us take stock of the

 day. Here, it is good to remember that the inventory does not only have a "debt column." It is unfortunate for a day in which we did nothing good. The truth is that we generally fill the hours of the day with constructive things. Looking back on the day, we can recall many good intentions, good thoughts, and good deeds. In such circumstances, the pain of failure can turn into a positive experience. We can draw the necessary encouragement for our progress from these. A knowledgeable person once said that pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress.

We A.A. members wholeheartedly agree with this because we know that sobriety preceded the pain caused by drinking, and that emotional balance preceded the turmoil of our feelings.  
When we go through the "debt column" of our daily list, let us carefully examine the underlying reasons for our seemingly negative thoughts and actions. In most cases, it will not be hard to see and understand them. When we were arrogant, angry, or jealous, when we worried or were afraid, we acted accordingly. At such times, all that is required is to recognize that we were thinking or acting incorrectly. Let us think about how we could have acted more rightly, and apply these lessons in the future. If necessary, let us make amends if we have neglected to do so before.

In other cases, only the strictest examination can help uncover our true motives. Sometimes our old enemy, rationalization, sneaks in, justifying even wrongful behavior. The temptation is to read good intentions into our motives even when they do not exist.  
There were times when we "criticized constructively" someone whom we thought needed it—yet our true motive was to prove our own point. When we spoke about someone behind their back, we convinced ourselves that we were helping others understand that person. But our true motive was to disparage that person. At other times, we lectured our loved ones, when in reality, we wanted to punish them.

In a depressed state, we complain that we feel bad, but we were only seeking attention and sympathy. This strange characteristic of our minds and emotions, the reverse intention of cloaking our wrong motives in sheep's clothing, permeates society from top to bottom. The most refined and cunning hypocrisy can infiltrate even the smallest of our actions and thoughts. The essence of character building and living rightly is to recognize, admit, and correct these deficiencies daily. Genuine sorrow over the harm caused, authentic gratitude for the good received, and the effort to be better tomorrow—these should be the enduring values we seek.

As we review the past day, not forgetting the good we did; examining our hearts without fear or bias, we can give thanks for God's blessings, and with a clear conscience, we can lay our heads down to sleep.  
[12 Steps and 12 Traditions, pp. 96-97.]