Csaba - Step 7

(Excerpt) - 7.0.

In the chapter *Into Action* on page 71 of the Big Book, it says:

“If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Seven. We have a prayer which we say: ‘My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.’

Having said this prayer, we have completed Step Seven.”

I have completed it:

7. I Humbly Asked Him to Remove My Shortcomings

As part of this:

1. I regularly prayed to God.
2. I began letting go of my negative emotions and thoughts.
3. I started reducing my self-centered behaviors.
4. I began to curb my ego-driven needs.
5. I began releasing my false identifications and beliefs.
6. I recognized that I am perfect just as God created me.
7. I realized that I don’t need to be anything other than what I am.

In the coming weeks, I will elaborate on these points.

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Guide for Preparing Step 7:

7. Humbly Ask Him to Remove My Shortcomings

As an introduction to this step work:

- Study Step 7 in our *12/12* book!
- Attend meetings where Step 7 is discussed!
- Talk to your sponsor about Step 7!

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(Excerpt) - 7.1.

7.1 Regularly Praying to God

“My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do Your bidding. Amen.”

This prayer, also known as the Step 7 prayer (*Big Book*, p. 71, 3rd paragraph), I wrote on a sticky note and placed it on my computer screen. I read it multiple times a day. I broke it down into parts and reflected on each word individually at times. For example:

- "... I am now willing..." – Am I truly willing? Yes. I am willing!
- "... good and bad..." – I acknowledge everything within me, even the bad.
- "... to be Yours..." – I belong to God, not anyone else.
- "... to be useful..." – To others, not for myself, but for everyone.
- "... Your bidding..." – Not anyone else’s, not even mine, but Yours.
- "... Amen..." – So be it! Let Your will be done, not mine!

In addition, I began another prayer series. I transformed my understanding of God (my spiritual principles) into a prayer:

What is my God like? What are His main qualities?

1. He is always present, always with me.
2. He does not judge me or others.
3. He provides everything I need.
4. He loves and forgives me and others.
5. He radiates joy and happiness to me and others.
6. He gives me peace and grants peace to others.
7. He shows me the way and helps others find their path too.

Therefore, I pray:

- Help me live in the present and be with You!
- Help me not to judge myself or others for their mistakes!
- Help me give as much as I can to others!
- Help me love and forgive unconditionally.
- Help me radiate joy and happiness to everyone.
- Help me live in peace with myself and others.
- Help me walk my own path and guide others on theirs.

I recited these little prayers frequently, even while running or swimming. This is how the program works for me.

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Guide for Step 7.1:

7.1 Regularly Praying to God

Write down (reflect on):

- Do you acknowledge all your character defects within yourself?
- Are you willing to trust God with them?
- Are you ready to be useful to your fellow humans?
- Are you truly prepared to belong to God?
- Are you willing to follow all His commands?

Write down any experience that demonstrates how:

- Regular prayer transforms the soul.

Practice the following (or something similar that fits your spiritual principles):

God, I pray:

- Help me live in the present and be with You!
- Help me not to judge myself or others for their mistakes!
- Help me give as much as I can to others!
- Help me love and forgive unconditionally.
- Help me radiate joy and happiness to everyone.
- Help me live in peace with myself and others.
- Help me walk my own path and guide others on theirs.

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(Excerpt) - 7.2.

7.2 I Began Letting Go of My Negative Emotions and Thoughts

“My God, I pray that You remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows.” That’s where I am now. What comes next?

In Step 6, I prepared many things. For example:

6.1 I came to believe that God can free me from everything I acknowledged as objectionable.
6.2 I realized that I don’t need to love my character defects, and I resolved not to cling to them.
6.3 I recognized when I sometimes enjoyed negative emotions and thoughts. I made a list of them.

For this part of Step 7, I took out this list, placed it somewhere visible (on my computer screen), and read, repeated, and programmed it daily for months:

I DISMISS, I LET GO, I ENTRUST TO GOD:


- my dark past  
- guilt  
- self-pity  
- sorrow  
- fear  
- stress  
- resentment  
- disappointments  
- aggression  
- procrastination  
- envy  
- vanity  
- complaining  
- judgment  
- expectations  
- egoism  
- my own will  

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Guide for Step 7.2:

7.2, I begin letting go of my negative emotions and thoughts.  

Practice your list from Step 6 daily, like this:

I LET GO, I RELEASE, I TRUST IN GOD:

- my dark past  
- guilt  
- self-pity  
- sorrow  
- fear  
- stress  
- resentment  
- disappointments  
- aggression  
- procrastination  
- envy  
- vanity  
- complaining  
- judgment  
- expectations  
- egoism  
- my own will  
- etc.  
- etc.  

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Csaba - Step 7

(Excerpt) – 7.3.

7.3, I BEGAN TO REDUCE MY SELF-CENTERED EXPRESSIONS.  

I read this in the *Big Book* (several times):

"Selfishness – self-centeredness! We think this is the root of all our problems. [...] We believe that our troubles, basically of our own making, arise out of ourselves. The alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible."  
As part of the previous step, I analyzed the main manifestations of the ego that often spoke in my mind. Now, in Step 7, I began practicing the reduction of these expressions. My method was that every time I recognized that the ego was speaking within me, I thought about what God would say (for Catholics, the Holy Spirit), and I resolved to listen to Him instead. I practiced these divine “slogans” a lot, repeating them like mantras. Today, they are an integral part of my mindset.

LABELING  
The ego says: This is like this, that is like that. This is not good, that is bad.  
God says: EVERYTHING IS GOOD!

JUDGING  
The ego says: He’s like this, she’s like that. He’s no good, she’s bad.  
God says: EVERYONE IS GOOD!

DRAMATIZING  
The ego says: Why did it happen like this? Why won’t it happen like that? Why am I here?  
God says: IT’S GOOD HERE NOW! LET GO, TRUST ME!

EXPECTATIONS  
The ego says: Why did they do this? Why aren’t they doing that?  
God says: LET THEM LIVE, AND LIVE YOURSELF!

DEMANDS  
The ego says: This is important. This is owed to me.  
God says: I WILL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING THAT IS IMPORTANT!

In the next section, I will deal with these demands in more detail...

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Guide for Step 7.3:

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7.3, I BEGIN TO REDUCE MY SELF-CENTERED EXPRESSIONS.  

Look for examples among your own expressions of the following:

- Labeling  
- Judging  
- Dramatizing  
- Expectations  
- Demands  

Practice letting go of your egoic expressions, like this:

- Everything is good!  
- Everyone is good!  
- It’s good here now!  
- Let go, trust God!  
- Live and let live!  
- God will provide me with everything I need!

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Csaba - Step 7  

(Excerpt) – 7.4.

7.4, I BEGAN TO REDUCE MY EGOIC DEMANDS.  

The ego says: This is important. I deserve this.  

God says: I WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH EVERYTHING THAT IS IMPORTANT!


Earlier, in Step 6, I wrote about the realization that the ego tries to convince me that there are things I "deserve," and these things are "important." The ego presents these as basic "human" needs, when in fact they are simply self-centered demands that I can let go of at any time if I ask for God's help. I have compiled these, and now in Step 7, I have begun to practice letting them go by applying the following principles:

MY GOD! I HAVE NO DEMAND FOR 

- being asked  
- being understood  
- being acknowledged  
- being loved  
- being right  
- being validated  
- being smarter  
- being more  
- being good  
- winning  
- being happy  
- wanting anything.  

And in the meantime, I regularly prayed following the example of St. Francis of Assisi (see Step Book, page 101!):

“Lord, grant that I may not so much seek to be comforted as to comfort; not so much to be understood as to understand; not so much to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive. It is in forgiving that we are forgiven. And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.” 

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Guideline for Step 7.4:

7.4, I BEGIN TO REDUCE MY EGOIC DEMANDS.  

Practice your list from Step 6 on a daily basis, like this:

MY GOD! I HAVE NO DEMAND FOR:

- being asked  
- being understood  
- being acknowledged  
- being loved  
- being right  
- being validated  
- being smarter  
- being more  
- being good  
- winning  
- being happy  
- wanting anything.  

If you see that your external egoic demands are a problem, you can also practice letting go of those, like this:

I DO NOT DESIRE MORE:

- energy  
- money  
- possessions  
- security  
- protection  
- status  
- profit  
- advantage  
- power  

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Csaba - Step 7  

(Excerpt) – 7.5.

7.5, I BEGAN TO LET GO OF MY FALSE IDENTIFICATIONS AND BELIEFS.


As I shared with you earlier, in Step 6, I further explored the ego in my mind. I realized that it produces false thoughts because of a false self-image. It lacks spirituality and identification with the Higher Self. Instead, the ego defines itself and tries to enhance its self-esteem by identifying itself with all kinds of external and internal factors, thereby increasing its SEPARATENESS from others.

In Step 6, I listed my external identifications and enumerated my internal beliefs. Now, in Step 7, I have begun to practice letting these go in the following way:

I AM NOT IDENTIFIED WITH:

- my life story  
- my upbringing  
- my education  
- my knowledge  
- my abilities  
- my work  
- my relationships  
- my appearance  
- my family tree  
- my nationality  
- my illnesses  
- my achievements  
- my possessions  
- my physical body  

I AM NOT IDENTIFIED WITH:

- my belief system  
- my political views  
- my social status  
- my reactions  
- my memories  
- my emotions  
- my opinions  
- my thoughts  

But not at all!

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Guideline for Step 7.5:

7.5, I BEGIN TO LET GO OF MY FALSE IDENTIFICATIONS AND BELIEFS.  

Practice your lists from Step 6 daily, like this:

A) I AM NOT IDENTIFIED WITH:

- my life story  
- my upbringing  
- my education  
- my knowledge  
- my abilities  
- my work  
- my relationships  
- my appearance  
- my family tree  
- my nationality  
- my illnesses  
- my achievements  
- my possessions  
- my physical body  

B) I AM NOT IDENTIFIED WITH:

- my belief system  
- my political views  
- my social status  
- my reactions  
- my memories  
- my emotions  
- my opinions  
- my thoughts  

Csaba - Step 7  

(Excerpt) – 7.6.

7.6, I RECOGNIZED THAT I AM AS (PERFECT) AS GOD CREATED ME.

God created me in His own image.

For a long time, I did not know this. For a long time, I always compared myself to others: I am better than him, I am worse than him. For a long time, I did not realize that my own self-centered way of thinking caused my suffering.  
God does not create imperfect things.

For a long time, I believed that I needed certain things, as I was lacking in many areas. Today, I know that I lack nothing, for God provides me with everything I need to be of service to Him and my fellow human beings. For example:

- He helps me live in the present, to be with Him!  
- He helps me not to condemn either my own sins or those of others!  
- He helps me to give as much as I can to others!  
- He helps me to love and forgive unconditionally.  
- He helps me to radiate joy and happiness to everyone.  
- He helps me to live in peace with myself and others.  
- He helps me to walk my own path and to assist others on their paths as well.  

Whenever I perceive any flaw or deficiency in myself, it always turns out to stem from the ego's desire for separation. Therefore, I can easily recognize it and let it go:

- negative thoughts (guilt, self-pity, fear, resentment, complaining, judgment, expectations);  
- egoic desires (money, power, prestige, knowledge, information);  
- egoic demands (understanding, attention, victory, love, will);  
- false identifications (life story, family tree, body);  
- harmful beliefs (faith, memories, emotions, thoughts).  

There are two voices that can speak in my mind: ego vs. HS (Holy Spirit).  
At any moment, I can choose to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

God created me perfect. I am perfectly suited to be of service to Him and my fellow human beings. If I think otherwise, it is the ego's attack against God's plan to perceive the world as a manifestation of His glory.

Gloria in Excelsis Deo!  
Glory to God in the highest!

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Guideline for Step 7.6:

7.6, I RECOGNIZE THAT I AM AS (PERFECT) AS GOD CREATED ME.  

Write down (reflect on) whether:

- You believe that you are as God created you?  
- You believe that God created you in His own image?  
- You believe that God wants you to be perfectly happy?  
- You believe that God will take away all your suffering if you listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit instead of the ego?  

Write down any experiences that support that:

- The ego only causes suffering.  
- Happiness is a choice.  

Practice the following (or something similar):

- I am as God created me.  
- God wants me to be happy.  
- Glory to God in the highest!  

Csaba - Step 7

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(Excerpt) - 7.7.  

7.7, I REALIZED THAT I DON'T HAVE TO BE ANYTHING.

I know that I am as God created me. Yet, I still make mistakes because my way of thinking is incorrect (ego-based).  
In Step 7, I humbly asked Him to eliminate my shortcomings. In doing so, I expressed that I want to change my way of thinking. I want to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit instead of the ego.

I added my part to the change. I began to practice:

- Letting go of my negative emotions and thoughts.  
- Reducing my self-centered manifestations.  
- Decreasing my egoic demands.  
- Letting go of my false identifications and beliefs.

I want to release the unnecessary things within me that the ego has created to feel SEPARATE.

I know that if I allow it, God is working on me. I know that:

- I don't have to figure out who I should be.  
- I don't have to want anything.  
- I don't have to believe in anything.  
- I don't have to know anything.  
- I don't have to do anything.  
- I don't have to acquire anything.  
- I don't have to be anything.

Knowing this allows me to be FREE to do what I must. I will be able to do anything to be of service to Him and my fellow human beings. God provides the strength for this...

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Guideline for Step 7.7:

7.7, I know that I don’t have to be anything.  

Write down (reflect on) whether:

- Do you often think about how you should be?  
- Do you often strongly desire certain things?  
- Do you engage in debates with others?  
- Do you think that you need to know certain things?  
- Do you believe that you must do certain things?  
- Do you think that you must acquire certain things?  
- Do you believe that you must possess certain things?  

Practice the following (or something similar):

I know that if I allow it, God is working on me. I know that:

- I don’t have to figure out who I should be.  
- I don’t have to want anything.  
- I don’t have to believe in anything.  
- I don’t have to know anything.  
- I don’t have to do anything.  
- I don’t have to acquire anything.  
- I don’t have to own anything.  
- I don’t have to be anything.  

Review Questions for Step 7 of AA

1. Do you still have cherished character flaws?  
2. Have you been able to let go of your negative emotions and thoughts?  
3. Have you managed to reduce your self-centered manifestations?  
4. Have you succeeded in decreasing your egoic demands?  
5. Have you let go of your false identifications and beliefs?  
6. Have you recognized that you are as (perfect) as God created you?  
7. Have you realized that you don’t have to be anything?