NA - Step 7

Seventh Step:

"We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Although each of the Twelve Steps is a process in itself, to some extent, they overlap with each other. Parts of Step One blend into Step Two, while the elements of Step Four carry over into the subsequent steps. The most seamless transition is perhaps between Steps Six and Seven. At first glance, Step Seven almost seems like a postscript to Step Six. We spent a lot of time in Step Six raising awareness of our character defects and striving to reach the point where we were entirely ready for their removal. Now, all that's left is to ask. Or is it?

Not quite. This step involves more than just submitting a request to a Higher Power and waiting for a response. We must prepare ourselves spiritually. We need to understand what the word "humbly" means in this context. We must find the method of asking that best fits our personal spirituality. And, crucially, we need to practice spiritual principles in place of our defects.

NA - Step 7 - Chapter 7.1.1

7.1. Preparing for the Seventh Step

Much of the spiritual preparation necessary for Step Seven has already been done. It’s important to recognize that the work we’ve put in and the results we achieve are interconnected.

7.1.1. HUMILITY

The previous steps served to plant the seeds of humility in our souls. In this step, those seeds take root and begin to grow. Many of us struggle with the concept of humility. We started to address it in Step Six, and it deserves our attention in Step Seven as well. We need to understand what humility means to us and how it manifests in our lives.

Humility should not be confused with humiliation. When we are humiliated, we feel ashamed and worthless. Humility is the complete opposite of those feelings. As we work through the steps, we begin to peel away layers of denial, ego, and self-centeredness. We start building a more positive self-image and practicing spiritual principles. Previously, we couldn’t see our strengths because our disease obscured the healthy and good parts of ourselves. Now we can. And that is humility. Examples of how humility manifests help us grasp its true nature.

When we began our recovery, we had concrete ideas about how things should be, but as we progressed in the program, everything we once believed in was called into question. We encountered a flood of new ideas. For example, if we believed we were in control, the mere fact that we ended up in NA, admitting our powerlessness, might have been enough to make us rethink that. Our addiction prevented us from learning the lessons that life would have otherwise taught us about how much control one person can really have. Through abstinence and working the steps, we have learned a lot about how to live.

Many of us came to NA with a street mentality. 

We knew only one way to get what we wanted: approaching indirectly and manipulating people. We didn’t realize that by being straightforward, we had just as much – if not more – chance of achieving our goals. For years, we practiced keeping a poker face, hiding our emotions, and hardening ourselves. By the time we arrived at NA, we had become quite good at it, so much so that newcomers to the fellowship looked up to us with the same awe that we once had for the old junkies when we first started using. We learned to suppress all humanity, and in many cases, we became completely inhuman.

But we stepped out of the cycle where these games are played, and this has led us toward new ideas. We learned that we can feel and express our emotions. We learned that the rules of the street only apply on the street, and in the real world, they would be crazy and dangerous. We have become gentler and more vulnerable. We no longer confuse kindness with weakness.

This change in attitude has a dramatic effect. Often, even our physical appearance changes. The furrowed brow and hardened face soften into a smile. Our tears flow freely, and our suppressed souls open up.

Many of us came to NA with the belief that we were victims of bad luck, unfavorable circumstances, and conspiracies that distorted our good intentions. We lived with the belief that we were misunderstood, good people. The harm we caused, if we recognized it at all, was justified in the name of self-defense. Self-pity went hand-in-hand with these feelings. We wallowed in our suffering, knowing deep down that in exchange for the pain, we never had to examine our own role in its creation.

The first six steps ask us to examine our role in things. We used to think that certain things just happened to us. Now we see that we created those situations ourselves. We see the opportunities we wasted. We no longer blame others for our own part in our lives. We are starting to realize that our own decisions brought us to where we are now.

Humility is the sense of our own humanity. If this is our first experience with Step Seven, it might be the point where we show compassion toward ourselves. It’s deeply moving when we first realize that we are simply human, trying to be good. We make both good and bad decisions, and we hope things will turn out well. In this light, we also realize that, just like us, others are also doing the best they can. We feel a real connection with others. We know they, too, are vulnerable to uncertainty and failure, just like us, and that all of us have dreams for the future.

Now we need to accept our own humanity and see how it manifests in our everyday lives.

- What behaviors of mine have changed since I’ve been in recovery? Which have calmed down from excess, and where has my healthier side shown itself?

- How does humility impact my recovery?
- How does my awareness of humility help me as I work on this step?

NA - Step 7 - Chapter 7.1.2

7.1.2. Connection with God

The work we have done in the previous steps has helped us develop a relationship with God as we understand Him. This work pays off multiple times as we move forward in Step Seven. In Step Two, we first started thinking about a Higher Power that could help us recover from our addiction. We continued by making the decision in Step Three to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Higher Power. We called upon this Power many times to guide us through Step Four, and in Step Five, we shared the most intimate details of our lives with it. In Step Six, we discovered that God, as we understand Him, can do more for us than just keeping us clean.

- How has my understanding of a Higher Power developed through the previous steps? How has my relationship with this Power evolved?
- How has the work on the previous steps helped prepare me for Step Seven?

7.2. We Asked Him to Remove Our Defects of Character

Now, how do we ask God, as we understand Him, to remove our character defects? The answer will likely depend on how we view God. There are countless perceptions of God, so many that it would be nearly impossible to give examples in this step guide of how individual spirituality affects each person's experience with Step Seven.

Each person can develop their own personal habit or ritual for asking their Higher Power to remove their character defects. In this step guide, we refer to this as "prayer." The word "prayer" is widely accepted in our community and refers to the way we communicate with our Higher Power. The tone of this request can best be captured by the word "humbly." Asking for the removal of our character defects comes from the most sincere part of ourselves, the part closest to our spiritual center.

- How will I ask God, as I understand Him, to remove my character defects?
- Can other recovering addicts help me find the way to ask? Have I asked them to share their experiences, strengths, and hopes with me? Have I sought guidance from my sponsor?

As with any other area of the program, we won’t ask for the removal of our character defects just once. We will ask again and again, throughout our lives. The way we ask will undoubtedly change, just as our understanding of God changes. Whatever we do, we don’t have to work on Step Seven in only one way.

7.3. Stepping Out of the Way

Most of us realize that we need to do more in this step than just pray for the removal of our character defects. We must do something that invites our Higher Power to work in our lives. We can’t ask God to remove our defects and then cling to them with all our might. The greater the distance we keep between ourselves and our Higher Power, the less we will feel its presence. We need to maintain the self-awareness gained in Step Six, combined with an awareness that God is working in our lives.

- How does the spiritual principle of surrender apply to stepping out of the way and allowing a Higher Power to work in my life?
- What are the benefits of letting a Higher Power work in my life?
- How does it feel to know that my Higher Power cares for me and is working in my life?

7.4. Spiritual Principles

In Step Seven, we focus on surrender, trust, faith, patience, and humility.

7.4.1. Surrender

Step Seven: Deepening Our Surrender

In Step Seven, we deepen our surrender. In Step One, we admitted our addiction as a starting point. Now, we also understand which character defects are tied to our addiction. We further deepen the surrender we made in Step Two. We come to believe that our Higher Power can do more for us than just keep us clean. We turn to this power to free us from our character defects. As time goes on, we place more trust in our Higher Power and the recovery process.

- Have I accepted my powerlessness over my character defects in the same way I did with my addiction? Write in detail!
- How has my surrender deepened?

7.4.2 Trust and Faith

The spiritual principles of trust and faith play a central role in this step. We need to be confident enough in our Higher Power to entrust our character defects to it. We must believe that our Higher Power will do something about them, otherwise, how can we ask with faith for their removal? We must refrain from keeping track of how we think God is progressing in removing our defects. It’s not hard to see where this kind of thinking can lead when, after a long time, we still find ourselves with certain defects. Instead, we focus on what we need to do in this step: humbly ask, practice spiritual principles, and step out of God's way. The results of Step Seven may not be immediately tangible, but over time they will be.

- Do I believe that my Higher Power will remove my character defects and free me from the compulsion to act on them? Do I believe that as a result of this step, I will become a better person?
- How has my faith in God, as I understand Him, strengthened as a result of working this step?

7.4.3 Patience

Trust and faith alone will never be enough to work this step for a lifetime; we also need patience. If a long time has passed since we began asking for our character defects to be removed, we must have patience. It may even be that impatience is one of our defects. We can see the waiting period as a gift, for these are the times when we most need to practice the principle of patience. After all, the surest path to growth is when we overcome the obstacles we encounter on our spiritual journey.

- When (and where) was the last time I had the opportunity to grow? How was I able to take advantage of it?

NA - Step 7 - Chapter 7.4.4

7.4.4 Humility

Lastly, it is important to maintain an awareness of humility as we work through this step. We can easily see if we are approaching this step with humility by asking ourselves a few questions:

- Do I believe that only my Higher Power can remove my character defects, or have I tried to do it myself?
- Have I been impatient because my character defects were not removed immediately after I asked? Or do I trust that God knows when the right time will come?
- Have I recently lost my sense of balance? Have I started to feel more important or powerful than I truly am?

NA - Step 7 - Chapter 7.5

Moving Forward

At this point, we might wonder how we should feel. We’ve asked God, as we understand Him, to remove our character defects. We’ve practiced the principles of our program with faith and to the best of our ability. Yet, we may still find ourselves acting impulsively, before giving ourselves a chance to think, and we still struggle with our flaws. Sure, we’re no longer using, our external circumstances are likely better, and our relationships may be more stable—but have we really changed? Have we become better people?

Over time, we will find that God has been working in our lives. We might even be surprised by the maturity or spirituality we demonstrated in handling a situation where, years ago, we would have acted without much spiritual insight. One day, we will realize that certain old behaviors now feel as foreign as the spiritual principles did when we first began applying them. After such a discovery, we start reflecting on the person we were when we first came to NA, realizing that we barely resemble that individual anymore.

- Have there been times when I was able to refrain from acting out a character defect and instead practiced a spiritual principle? Do I recognize that this is God working in my life?
- Which character defects have been removed from my life or lost their power over me?
- Why does Step Seven promise a sense of peace?

We are beginning to live more spiritually. We no longer focus solely on what we will get from our recovery; instead, we start considering what we can do for it. The things we do to maintain and nurture our souls become habits, and we eagerly look forward to practicing them.

We find that we are free to choose how we want to view a situation in our lives. We no longer grumble about minor inconveniences as if they were enormous catastrophes. We can hold our heads up with dignity and maintain our integrity, no matter what life throws our way. As we become more comfortable with our spiritual selves, our desire to heal our relationships grows. We begin this process in Step Eight.