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How I Took My 12 Steps (Csaba)

I admitted that I am powerless over alcohol—that my life had become unmanageable.

I finally accepted that I have no power over alcohol.  
I accepted that I have no power over others.  
I gave up hope that I could still be a social drinker someday.  
I became willing to change my way of thinking.  
I realized that my life rarely unfolds as I plan.  
I became aware that I cannot even control my own life.  
I realized that I cannot change the events of the past.  
I became aware that the future will not be as I think.  
I accepted that the present moment is always what it is.

I reached a belief that a Power greater than myself could restore my sanity.

I recognized that there are other forces at work in the world besides myself.  
I realized that there are greater forces than me.  
I noticed that those who believe in a Higher Power have better mental health.  
I became willing to imagine that there could be a force that restores my sanity.  
I wanted to believe that there exists a force that restores my sanity.  
I began to practice this thought. I started to believe in it.

I decided to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him.

I accepted the world created by God as it is.  
I believed that God knows better than I do what is good for me.  
I became willing to subordinate my will to God's will.  
I became willing to trust the unfolding of my life to God (as I understand Him).  
I recognized that I cannot change the world. And I also realized that this is not necessary.  
I recognized that I cannot change others. And I also realized that this is not necessary.  
I recognized that I can only change my own way of thinking.  
And I also recognized that this is all I need.  
I became grateful to God for these realizations. I became grateful for everything.

I thoroughly and bravely conducted a moral inventory of myself.

I moved past the thought that my character defects were caused by drinking.  
I moved past the thought that there would be no problems with me if I abstained from drinking.  
I moved past the thought that my troubles were caused by others.  
I listed my resentments (anger list).  
I forgave myself.  
I forgave my mother.  
I forgave every person, every authority, every institution.  
I began to recognize the negative emotions behind my negative feelings.  
I listed my fears and anxieties (fear list).  
I began to identify the negative thoughts surrounding the negative emotions.  
I began to let go of negative thinking and attitudes.  
I realized that I am not my thoughts; thoughts come and go.

I admitted to God, myself, and another person the true nature of my faults.

I became capable of admitting my faults to God.  
I became capable of admitting my faults to myself.  
I became capable of admitting my faults to my fellow human beings.  
I noticed that behind my wrongful actions there are always faulty (negative) thoughts.  
I realized that my faulty thoughts are due to my incorrect way of thinking.  
I understood that the essence of my faults lies in my self-centered (ego) way of thinking.  
I reported all of this to my then-sponsor in a private conversation.

I was completely ready for God to remove my character defects.

I believed that God could relieve me of everything I recognized as objectionable.  
I realized that I do not need to love my character defects, and I decided that I would not cling to them.  
I recognized that I sometimes enjoyed negative feelings and thoughts. I made a list of them.  
I recognized my ego-driven manifestations (labeling, judging, dramatizing).  
I listed my self-centered demands (assertion, attention, understanding, love).  
I listed my external identifications (past, life story, family, education, work).  
I listed my internal beliefs (belief system, political beliefs, opinions).

I humbly asked Him to remove my shortcomings.

I prayed regularly to God.  
I began to let go of my negative feelings and thoughts.  
I began to curb my ego-driven manifestations.  
I began to reduce my ego demands.  
I began to let go of my false identifications and beliefs.  
I recognized that I am as (perfect) as God created me.  
I realized that I do not need to be anything other than what I am.

I made a list of all those I had harmed, and I became willing to make amends to all of them.

I looked back to see where I had made mistakes at others' expense.  
I assessed whether I still resented anyone in the world.  
I clearly saw that my faults could be corrected and made amends for.  
I became willing to close the door on the past once and for all and start a new life.  
I examined whether I had any expectations of others.  
I learned about the forms of direct amends.  
I recognized that an apology is not amends.  
I made a plan to make direct amends.

I made direct amends to them where possible, except when it would cause them or others harm.

I tried to reach out to them for the purpose of making amends.  
I made full amends to some.  
I made partial amends to some.  
With some, my amends are ongoing.  
I know who I will make amends to later.  
I also dealt with those where personal contact was not possible.  
I did not try to substitute an apology for direct amends.

I continued my self-examination and promptly admitted when I was wrong.

I notice when I do not feel good.  
I acknowledge that if something bothers me, I need to look for the fault within myself.  
I know that my excessive desires can cause much suffering.  
I no longer dwell on the past.  
I am not afraid of the future.  
I can recognize the negative emotions behind bad feelings.  
I can identify the thought patterns surrounding negative emotions.  
I see that these thoughts are connected to bad feelings.  
I am willing to change these thoughts.  
I can let go of ego-driven thinking.  
I can replace negative attitudes and outlooks with positive ones.  
I am willing to develop new, positive perspectives through practice.

I have tried to deepen my conscious contact with God as I understand Him through prayer and meditation, praying only for knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out.

I became familiar with the three main elements of our spiritual toolbox (self-examination, prayer, meditation).  
I read AA literature regularly.  
I also read other spiritual literature regularly.  
I reflect on what I read.  
I practice meditation exercises.  
I pray, but I do not bombard God with my requests.  
I recognized His will for me.  
I say a prayer of gratitude. I glorify Him!

As a result of these steps, I have experienced a spiritual awakening, and I try to carry this message to alcoholics and apply these principles in all my affairs.

I have experienced spiritual awakening and its various phases.  
I realized that there is something to love in everyone.  
I understood what joy is and got to know peace.  
The steps have led to the development of my own spiritual principles.  
I try to apply these principles continuously in everyday situations.  
My understanding of God has developed as I see Him.  
I try to carry the message to those alcoholics who are still suffering.